


in the spaces you left

by greylina



Series: Searching for You [2]
Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: F/F, M/M, Minor Axel/Saïx (Kingdom Hearts), Minor Demyx/Zexion (Kingdom Hearts), Minor Naminé/Xion (Kingdom Hearts), Minor Riku/Sora (Kingdom Hearts), Post-Canon, kairi deserves better
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-14
Updated: 2019-11-29
Packaged: 2020-06-27 23:59:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 34,233
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19800496
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/greylina/pseuds/greylina
Summary: So, she loves them. She loves them dearly. Loves them with the once-empty fire pit that makes up her chest. Loves them as the sea embraces the land and reflects the sky. She loves them with all of her heart, truly, she does.But never would she ever let the two men leave spaces in her heart; Never again.Sequel to With All of My Heart, an AU set a decade after the events of KH3 where Riku searches for Sora. This fic deals with Kairi's side of the story, how she deals with her position at the hands of destiny, how she's always left behind, and how she claims her agency as a woman; a Princess of Heart; a friend.





	1. i.

**Author's Note:**

> basically, kairi rights
> 
> also, a lot of this won't make sense unless you've read the previous fic - there are a TON of references to with all of my heart written and planned in this fic, so be sure to read that first, thank you!

**_Thinking of you, wherever you are._ **

**_We pray for our sorrows to end, and hope that our hearts will blend._ **

**_Now I will step forward to realize this wish._ **

—

It is not that Kairi does not love her best friends, her brothers; It is not that she dislikes them, or carries any deep-seated grudge against them. She loves them - Sora and Riku, both. She loves them with all the light that resides in her heart, and there is a great deal of it there. 

But there are certain days, certain moments, as fleeting as they are random, when upon seeing them something like bitterness comes up in her throat. Something like betrayal, something like loss, something like yearning. 

She only ever needs to remind herself that is not either of their faults; All three of them had been dealt difficult cards by Destiny since their birth. And being teenagers when they began to gamble, well. It wasn’t like they knew how to play. 

Still, the reality of their roles in the so-called grand scheme of things cannot fully excuse the pain Kairi had gone through; The constant separation from her best friends, the lack of power to help them. It was always ‘and’ when it came to Kairi. It was always - Sora, Riku. And Kairi. 

“ We grew up together, but I think most of our growing up has been away from each other,” Kairi had told them once, at the islet, sitting together on the leaning paopu tree. The last sunset before the appointed day of war. “At least, that’s how it was for me.” 

And years later, after Sora’s disappearance, and Riku’s, too, ten years following that, and then their return on that eleventh year, Sora had told her: “You deserve way better than what we could have given you.” 

So, she loves them. She loves them dearly. Loves them with the once-empty fire pit that makes up her chest. Loves them as the sea embraces the land and reflects the sky. She loves them with all of her heart, truly, she does. 

But never would she ever let the two men leave spaces in her heart; Never again. 

—

It is three years, five months, and something like a week since Riku brought Sora back from Ad Initium. 

Ad Initium, which is, until today, more of an open secret than something regularly discussed. They had all tried to gleam what it was, or what had happened, but any attempt to make sense of the decade Sora had been gone was just as fruitful as any attempt to make sense of the year Riku had been gone. 

So what everyone only knows is this:

After saving Kairi, Sora had trapped himself in an alternate worldline where Xehanort won and the world had reset, and so was tasked to rebuild Scala Ad Caelum. He had a family: Three young adults, one child, and a mother. He lost the power of waking permanently, and in exchange for Sora’s return, the Kingdom Key.

Sora doesn’t talk about his family often, but Kairi knows he thinks of them still. She sees the way he stares at Roxas and Xion when they are joking amongst themselves, the way he stares at Namine when she is deep in thought and has a faraway look. 

Sometimes, she catches him staring at herself, too, and there are some days when he would reach out protectively - not quite like a brother would to a sister. There is something parental in his careful affection towards her, something she recognizes from her own years of being a mother. 

“Enjoying yourself?” 

Kairi looks up, surprised by the voice that has interrupted her thoughts. The seat beside her pivots on one leg and Sora sits down, crossing his arms over the back of the chair as he leans on it. He smiles, brilliantly matching the shine of the new wedding band on his ring finger. 

“I guess so,” Kairi sighs dramatically, shrugging. “I’ve had better paopu shakes, but I suppose yours will do.” 

Sora laughs, shaking his head. “Sorry to disappoint, princess. I suppose I’ll only have to do better next time.” 

Kairi grins, and she leans on Sora, their shoulders pressed together. They fall into a comfortable silence; One earned from years of relearning how to act around each other. 

It had been difficult, when Sora returned from that faraway world with a different sky. 

Most movies, they make reunions be this easy thing, like a puzzle piece that slots perfectly in place with no resistance whatsoever. But Kairi to Sora was not like Riku. And so, she and Sora had danced around each other. Argued. A month’s worth of stilted conversations, of days when they would fall back into the ease of when they were teenagers, and then of days when they were strangers with guarded secrets to each other. 

A rift had grown between them two, and it broke both of their hearts when they came around to realizing it. But, like adults who knew the value of love and friendship, they learned how to talk about it and fix it. 

A shouting match at eleven in the morning (Riku hopelessly caught in the middle), storming off in different directions, and the trio together on the islet sharing a single paopu fruit between them later, and things started getting better. 

Turns out, they just needed to give each other space. Because that is what adulthood does: It makes one demand space for themselves. 

“So,” Kairi hums, drawing herself out of her thoughts and relocating herself in the present. “Which one of you proposed?” 

They are outside of Sora and Riku’s beachfront house, a property that had, when it was advertised, demanded quite a bit of repair and upkeep. It was small - Comparable to a cottage, really, built on an old weathered porch for foundation. It housed a comfortable kitchen, an airy living room, a guest bedroom, and on the second floor, a spacious bedroom with a gorgeous view of Destiny Island’s surrounding waters. 

In the three years since the couple had taken it, it had become a reflection of them - The porch had been repaired and painted a rather sunny yellow, the windows replaced and given matching yellow window sills. The house walls were the original wood, repaired to give the home new life. 

Inside, they had furnished it the only way they knew how: Messily, haphazardly, loosely following interior magazine clippings suggested to them by Kairi herself. It was their home, and it showed. 

Sora breathes a hearty laugh, and his shoulders shake with the force of it. “As if Riku was ever going to.” 

Today there is a warm barbecue party being held at the beachfront house. Axel is bothering Roxas at the grill, Isa is chatting with Aqua while Terra is entertaining Kairi’s daughters and holding a baby in his arms; easily dwarfed by the size of his biceps. Mickey, Donald, and Goofy are sitting by the beach, talking amongst themselves. Riku is letting Namine examine the ring on his finger, holding his hand this way and that for her and Xion to see, and Riku must have said something because Namine turns a bright red and Xion does, too, laughing. 

“No ceremony, though? Reception?” Kairi hums, angling her head so she could look up at Sora through her lashes. He hums in reply, waving a hand around noncommittally. 

“Technically, this  _ is _ the reception,” He tells her. “We would have done a ceremony, followed keyblade tradition with some influence from the Islands.” 

Kairi notes, with an affectionate lack of surprise, that Sora  _ has  _ thought about this. There is something adolescent in the way his gaze glitters with a memory or some memories from his youth, when his and Riku’s shared love was something to make romantic comedy movies from. 

“But?” She prompts, smiling at him. He meets her gaze, blushes, and returns the smile. 

“This feels more natural,” Sora admits. “Not a big wedding, with expensive suits and catering and flowers, or whatever. Pretty sure I don’t even have the patience to plan all of that. Maybe if I was younger, but definitely not now.” 

Kairi snickers. She remembers her own wedding, held years ago. She remembers the stress; Had the joy and thrill of actually being wed not been there, she might have called the whole thing off herself and settled for something intimate, too, just like this. 

“Well, can’t blame you.” She says. 

“Besides,” Sora continues, his voice lowering into a conspiratory whisper. “Technically, Riku and I accidentally did an extremely abridged version when we were teenagers. You remember that day we brought the keyblades I forged to the islet?” 

Kairi actually sits up, staring at Sora. She whispers, disbelieving and incredulous, at the implication: “You  _ didn’t! _ ” 

Sora grins sheepishly at her, shrugging. “We did. So, you know.  _ Technically, _ I got married before you did.” 

Kairi raises her hand, flashing her ring. “Informally, though. I got my ring first.” 

Then, as though summoned by the very mention of Kairi’s wedding ring, the sound of feet shuffling the sun-hot sand of the beach. Sora and Kairi turn around and there is Nagisa, grinning brightly as she comes up to the two of them. She ruffles Sora’s hair, pulling him into a quick hug, before coming to Kairi’s side and dipping to press a chaste kiss on Kairi’s lips in greeting. 

“Sorry I’m late,” Nagisa says. Then, to Sora: “Congrats, dipshit. Considering everything I’ve learned about you guys, about fucking time.” 

Sora barks a laugh, reaching over Kairi to shove at the other. “It’s good to see you, too, Nagisa. Traffic on the way up here?” 

“Shit, you have no idea. You know how peak season is for the Islands.” Nagisa huffs, grumbling as she leans her elbows on the back of Kairi’s chair. The latter looks up, watching her wife with much affection. “You’re lucky you guys got a private beach thing going on. It’s crowded everywhere, and college kids are, of course, ignoring the curfew rule on the public beaches.” 

There’s a unanimous sound of agreement, all three adults grimacing at the thought of college students being a nuisance on the Islands. 

“Anyway,” Nagisa says, bouncing on her feet as she scans the party and waves at whomever notices her. Terra greets her with a careful wave, so does Isa and Axel. “Where are my nibblets?” 

Kairi gestures further down the beach, where her kids have begun tackling Riku while Namine and Xion laugh at his expense. “Over there, making us proud.” 

Smirking, Nagisa turns to Sora. “They get that from me.” 

“Right. Need I remind you I grew up with Kairi?” 

“Damn it. One of these days, bedhead. One of these days you’re going to believe I’m tougher than my wife.” 

“Sure, when you prove it,” Kairi laughs, reaching up to flick at Nagisa’s nose. “Go say hi, we’ll be here.” 

And with that, Nagisa runs off to tackle her eldest, Sora, off Riku’s back - But not without first planting a kiss to Kairi’s cheek and affectionately yelling that she loves her. 

Kairi’s heart is warm and full with love. 

Namine and Xion continue laughing as Sora and Asahi (now eleven and five, respectively), continue their scuffle against Riku and Nagisa. The young girl squeal with glee and excitement, kicking up sand as they flail about in numerous attempts to grab hold of their opponents and tackle them into the fast-cooling beach at sunset. 

Kairi hears a sigh from beside her, and turns to look at Sora. 

“I brought up the idea of adopting,” He says to her. “To Riku. We’ve had a few conversations about it now.” 

“Oh.” She’s not sure what to say to that, and tells him as much. He laughs, cheerful and nonchalant. 

“I mean, so far it’s just… talk. Riku doesn’t seem against it, so.” He bites his lip. “It’s just that sometimes, I look at what you have and I can’t help but feel like I want that for myself. I miss it, sort of.” 

He turns to her, looks at her with that strange parental affection. Something in Kairi’s heart hurts, like a memory that’s not quite hers begging to surface. 

“It’s not wrong to move on, you know,” Kairi says, gently placing her hand on Sora’s. 

They stare at each other for a few breaths. Sora breaks the silence: “Can I tell you about them?” 

“Of course,” is Kairi’s easy answer. “Always, Sora. You can always tell me anything.” 

It is not that Kairi doesn’t know anything about Sora’s kids; She knows their names, knows who they were to him. But it is rare for him to want to talk about Larae, Mirare, Alo and Elyse. It is rare for him to want to divulge so much of them, and there are days when Kairi wonders if speaking of them makes him feel like he’s only voicing a faraway dream, like they never existed at all. 

But there is an ache in her chest that tells her they were real, that she knows they  _ are _ real. 

“There’s a girl. She looks like you.” He considers her. “A lot like you.” 

Kairi knows who he means. Elyse; the one who had gifted him a wayfinder charm similar to the one she had made for herself. 

“The same hair, the same fiery spirit. She was the first one to wake up on Ad Initium, five years after I showed up.” 

She knows this, too. But she listens, just as attentive as every rare time Sora talks about Ad Initium. 

“I remember thinking, fuck. Destiny has a cruel sense of humor, placing a child who looks like you in my care.” 

There is sympathy and empathy all at once, and something else. Something that is not just her. It’s a strange feeling, this: Like there is a part of her that echoes of someone else. It reminds her of when Namine had taken refuge in her heart, healing slowly until she was able to come back to the world. 

Kairi chalks it up to extreme empathy. 

Sora takes a deep breath. “I wasn’t ready to take care of her. I asked someone who was more capable than I was. And I avoided her - Elyse. I avoided her for such a long time, because I couldn’t deal with the guilt I had for failing you. Instead, failing you turned into me failing her.” 

“Sora, you did your best.” 

“Did I, though?” He sighs. He shakes his head, dismissing the question before either of them have the chance to really mull it over. “I just can’t help but wonder if they’re doing alright. I feel so helpless, being separated from them like this. Not knowing anything.”

Kairi considers him. She takes a deep breath, looks away and focuses her gaze on Nagisa and their daughters. Something like bitterness in the back of her throat. 

She counts to ten, rests her head again on Sora’s shoulder, and sighs. 

“They’ll be okay.”

—

“Does it bother you?” Nagisa asks Kairi later on, back home with their two children sprawled across their laps, fighting off sleep and failing. 

Kairi watches as Asahi curls up, tangling her soft race car themed blanket around her. “What bothers me?” She asks with a hum. 

“That you found out about the marriage after they invited you to the barbecue. They were officiated months ago.” Nagisa clarifies as she tugs Sora closer to her, the young girl whining loudly about wanting to stay up still. “I know, Sor. Stay up as long as you want. Mom will carry you to bed whenever you pass out.”

“Mom, or Mama?” Sora whines. “I want Mama to carry me.” 

Kairi snorts. “Mama thinks you’re too big to carry into bed anymore.” 

“Mom, then.” Sora huffs, kicking her feet and pinning her eyes to the television. Nagisa looks at Kairi. 

“It doesn’t bother me,” Kairi answers finally. “They’ve always had their own thing. I’m used to this.” 

Nagisa frowns, but respectfully so. “You weren’t even witness, Kairi. To your best friends’ wedding. That’s not something you should be okay with.” 

Sora begins to snore. The two adults know the prime time to move their children would be soon. 

“I never said I was,” Kairi continues, combing through Asahi’s hair gently. “It’s more like - It’s not important to me now. It used to be. You know that.”

“I do.” 

Nagisa knows because she is one of the few civilians on Destiny Islands - On any of the worlds, for that matter, who is allowed full knowledge of all that had transpired in the past years regarding keyblades and those who hold them. Sora’s mother had been told sometime ago before she died. Kairi’s parents know, and Riku’s. 

Nagisa’s frown softens, and she stares at Kairi. 

Even without saying anything, Kairi knows what she’s thinking. They have this conversation often - More often now in the three years since Sora’s return. 

“It really is fine, Na.” Kairi’s smile is soft; accepting. “I don’t wait on them. Things change, and besides. I have my own life, too. I have the kids. I have you.” 

Maybe that’s not the right thing to say, because Nagisa shifts uncomfortably, her expression turning into careful concern. 

“You know I don’t bring this up so I can hear you say that, right?” She asks, tentative. “I just hate that they leave you out like its second nature. Anyone with eyes can see how important they are to you. I’ve seen you when they’re gone, missing.” 

Asahi coos, and Sora’s snores get louder. Kairi lets her gaze fall on the kids, lets her arms wrap carefully and lovingly around the small frame of Asahi. 

“Mama,” the young girl says softly, so far into her dream. 

“Kairi,” comes Nagisa’s voice. “I love you.” 

Kairi never needs to say it back, because the gaze she shares with Nagisa when she looks up says far more than three words ever could. 

She stands up from the couch, Asahi in her arms. Nagisa mirrors her by carrying Sora and together they bring the kids to their beds and get ready for sleep. Later that night, their conversation underneath the covers involves the schedule for the upcoming week, groceries they need to get more of, and which camp are they sending Sora to this summer. 

—

Kairi had renamed her keyblade some years ago - Nowadays, when it comes up, it is only ever referred to as ‘Destiny.’ 

Her children ask about it sometimes. They ask for stories about it, they ask for not-quite modest shows of magic using it. Kairi is never shy to indulge; She holds Destiny in her hand, strengthens it with the light in her heart, and treat her daughters to grand displays of magic in the privacy of their own home. 

Asahi, in particular, loves them. There is a brightness in her eyes that only ever appear when Kairi summons Flare, sending flower-shaped fireworks high into the air and just within reach of her tiny hands. 

On top of the peace she has made with the keyblade, the boundless joy Kairi finds in her daughters’ faces when they see all the beauty of her strength manifested fills her. 

It is mid-morning, the kids are still asleep, Nagisa won’t wake until noon. Kairi is out and about, a section of the beach claimed to her and her only, her keyblade in her hand as she tries parries and counters against a non existent foe. 

“Your stance is too wide,” comes a voice, and Kairi rolls her eyes before she turns around. “Good morning, Kairi.” 

“But do my hits land?” She says in return, smiling wide at the woman before her. 

“They do. And yes, they do hurt very much.” A pause. Soft laughter between them. “I hope you don’t mind me being here. I saw you in the distance, thought I’d say hi.” 

Kairi shrugs, waving Aqua’s concerns away. She glances at her keyblade then raises it, gesturing towards the other. “Well, it’s been a while, hasn’t it?” 

Aqua grins.

It never goes away; The awe from watching a master ready themselves. Kairi feels like she is a decade younger, watching Aqua in the early dawn outside The Mysterious Tower before the others are awake. She feels a wonder, a light; Childlike and awestruck and blissfully hopeful that one day she would be just like that. 

Aqua rolls her shoulders back and tucks in a few stray strands of blue behind her ear. Her posture straightens, shoulders pulled back, and her arm swings to her side, the action of it casting bright blue and white lights twinkling in its wake. 

Slowly, the lights stretch, flash, and then there is Rainfell’s familiar blue metal; Glimmering with a cool shine that contrasts against the summery hues of Destiny Island’s morning. 

Kairi holds Destiny tighter in her hand and takes her own stance; Too wide, maybe. 

Bated breaths of one, two. 

“Don’t disappoint me,” is the keyblade master’s simple taunt to her brightest student; her pupil; her apprentice. 

Kairi doesn’t intend to. She surges forward. 

—

It’s some time later after the barbecue that Kairi runs into Xion; Unexpectedly so, too. Xion is unannounced, for the most part, having been assumed to be back in Twilight Town with Namine or sparring student after student at Departure. 

(Not that Kairi isn’t happy to see her; Really, at this point, she’s just waiting for Xion to ask her how best to propose to Namine.) 

“Feeling inspired?” Kairi hums, her smile wide and teasing as she comes up behind Xion at the jewelry shop in Destiny Island’s plaza mall. 

The woman jumps at the greeting, the store clerk hiding a smile behind their hand. 

“Kairi, what the  _ hell, _ ” Xion hisses, full of humor as she glares at the other over her shoulder. “I’m just looking for a gift.”

“For Namine?” Kairi raises a brow. “What kind of gift? Necklace? Bracelet?” 

The clerk’s humor is clearly evident. Kairi takes a look at the glass case beside Xion. 

“Oh? Are these rings?” 

Xion shrugs, turning away to hide her blush. She nods a quick thank you to the clerk, who grins at them both and bids them a greeting before going to help another customer. Kairi leans on the glass case and grins, patient and teasing, at Xion. 

“Well?” 

“I had some free time, so I figured I’d drop down for a quick look, is all.”

“But you’re  _ thinking _ about doing it.”

“I am, yeah, and it’s, like.” Xion purses her lips, shakes her head; laughs softly. “We’ve talked about it every now and then, you know? It’s not like it would be a surprise, at this point. Just want it to be special, still.” 

Kairi tilts her head, humming thoughtfully. She pushes off the display case and gestures towards Xion to follow her. “It will be.” She says matter-of-factly, leading Xion towards the food court. “Paopu shake?”

“Oh, absolutely,” Xion says. Then, sheepishly, “My treat.” 

Kairi laughs, bright. “You don’t have to bribe me, I’ve been waiting for you to propose to Namine for  _ years. _ ” 

—

“Not that I’m not delighted to have you over, Namine,” Kairi hums into her phone, the device pinned between her shoulder and her cheek as she balances boxes of art supplies in her hands, “But why the sudden visit? You were just here for the barbecue.” 

The phone’s speaker crackles with Namine’s humored giggle. “Xion’s taking a mission to San Fransokyo. And as much as I love Twilight Town, I’ve been itching to travel again. Besides! I miss the sun!”

Kairi grins a secret grin. “Namine, you get sunburnt. Like, really badly.” 

“It’s the replica body. Anyway, I can still admire the sun under a parasol and the shops there have better sales than here in Twilight Town.” 

“So, shopping. You’re visiting because you want to go shopping.” Kairi laughs, rolling her eyes. 

“Yes, shopping. And to get our nails done. Maybe go all the way and get pampered. You have a great spa there. It’ll be a girls’ week.” Namine pauses. “Please? I miss you.” 

“You always miss me.” 

“What can I say?” Kairi imagines Namine mockingly pressing her hand to her forehead, sighing dramatically. “I am nobody without you.”

The cheesy joke sends both women to fall into a fit of giggling.

“You know you’re welcome any time,” Kairi says finally, rolling her eyes as she finishes tidying up her studio. “I’ll pick you up from the station, just say when.” 

Namine could beam through the phone if she could. They exchange their plans, Namine making promises to lavish her nieces with gifts when she comes, and that is the end of their conversation. 

Kairi takes a deep breath and lowers her phone to set it on the table, but it buzzes and the screen lights up with a message - 

_ Riku’s got the cooler packed, heading out to the islet in thirty min. You in?  _

Kairi bites her lip. She looks out the door of her studio, sees the living room where Nagisa and Sora and Asahi are bickering over what movie to watch for movie night. 

She opens the messaging app, taps in -  _ Some other time. Movie night with the kids. You’re welcome to come by, though :) _

The phone is pocketed immediately after; Kairi knows she won’t be getting a response. 

Nagisa turns away from Kairi’s direction when Kairi looks up again; The movement is telling and Kairi can’t help the frown that sets in her lips. She’s awfully transparent - As much as she says it’s fine that her friendship with Riku and Sora is like this, it does hurt. Sometimes, most times. 

Kairi wears her heart on her sleeve. 

Asahi waddles her way to the studio, holding the door frame as she picks in and smiles a toothy grin at her mother. It’s enough to bring Kairi out of her reverie, and she returns the smile with a playful coo and hands outstretched. The child squeals, babbles a cheerful ‘ _ no!’ _ and bounds away to the living room, her mother chasing after her until she is caught in her arms. 

Sora and Nagisa look up from the stack of movie cases scattered at the rug in front of the tv, grinning. Sora takes the moment as an opportunity to insert her choice of movie into the player, joyous as she grabs the remote and runs to the couch, curling up in her blanket. Nagisa rolls her eyes at her, then turns back to Kairi; soft. 

“Why don’t you go join them?” She says, and Kairi blinks, stunned for a moment. “The kids and I will be here when you get back, and it’s been a minute since you’ve gone to the islet with them.”

“Are you sure?” 

Nagisa grins, nods. “Always.” She stands up, presses a kiss to Kairi’s forehead, then says, “Shoot a text when you’re heading back. Love you.” 

It’s only the work of a few minutes as Kairi runs to get her phone, shoot a text to her best friends, and bid her children good night as she bounds out of the house and down the path towards the beach. Sora and Riku are finishing up loading the boat when she arrives, and they greet her the best way they could - Riku catching Kairi in his arms and spinning her as Sora laughs freely beside them. 

“Heart above, I missed this.” Kairi says as she gets behind the boat and helps Riku push it out into the water. 

“Nagisa urged you to come along, then, huh?” says Riku, huffing as they push. Kairi hums her affirmation, and after another push the boat is off the beach, the evening waves rocking it gently. 

Sora, who has been lounging aboard the boat, listens with a fond smile. “Nagisa’s nice.” is his only comment before he’s distracted by the view around him. 

The islet isn’t too far from where they are - The older they get, the closer it becomes. It used to be that the small island felt a world’s journey away, long long ago when the three of them were much younger and needed the help of their parents to ferry them from shore to shore. 

Riku hops on and starts the engine while Kairi goes to sit down beside Sora, resting her legs above the cooler sat in the middle of the boat. She leans her weight on her hands, head thrown back as she gazes at the sky above. 

The motor hums, the water churning quietly as Riku guides the boat towards the islet. 

“Who was witness, when you guys got married?” 

Sora and Riku both look towards Kairi, clearly surprised. 

“King Mickey,” Riku says, in that carefully neutral tone he’s gotten good at taking. Kairi nods, slow. 

“Oh. That’s good.” 

She’s not a child, so she doesn’t ask -  _ Why not me?  _

Sora and Riku, though, they know it’s on her mind. 

“Weather’s nice tonight,” she says instead, turning her head to smile at them both reassuringly. “I’m glad I ended up coming, really.” 

Sora visibly relaxes, nudging her shoulder with his. “Yeah, well, it’s been a minute.” 

“It has,” Riku chimes, thoughtfully looking at the islet. It’s not far now, just a few more minutes. “We’ve all been kind of busy, I had to work things out with Xion about her taking my students at Departure.” 

“How is that coming along, anyway?” Sora hums, brow raised. 

“Well enough,” Riku shrugs. “We were worried training would feel disjointed for them, but they seem to be merging well with her students.” 

Kairi purses her lips, thinking. She looks at Sora, then says: “Have you thought about going back to teaching?” 

Sora sucks in his breath through his teeth, and Kairi can’t help but laugh at the reaction. “I don’t know, I feel like I perpetually need a break from all of it.” 

Riku and Kairi share a look, snort between them and shrug, unable to disagree. 

Because that is what they all need; A break from all of this keyblade business. 

“Then,” Kairi says, gentle. The boat slows as it approaches the shore. “I guess you’re both settling back here, permanently?” 

“We are, yeah.” Sora looks at Riku.

Riku nods, too, smiling softly at his now-husband. “Guess Sora and Asahi are going to have cousins, now. To play with and all.” 

The boat bumps ashore. Sora’s hand meets Kairi’s back, catching her from surging backwards and falling. Riku, though, he has to catch himself, planting his feet on the floor of the boat. Between the three of them, a gentle laugh. 

“Hey, listen,” Sora says, looking into Kairi’s eyes as they all recollect themselves. “I know we should have asked you to be witness, we’re sorry.” 

“And we were thinking, too,” Riku continues, “If you’d want to go with us? Meet some kids at the orphanage with us?” 

Kairi blinks at them, lips parted. “When?” She asks, then after a beat, follows it with, “Can I bring my kids? Would that be okay?”

Sora laughs, nodding. “We’re consulting with someone next week, do the homestudy, and honestly we won’t really be meeting kids for a while. But Riku and I wanted to ask you, first, if you’d want to come with us when we do meet with kids.” 

The boat stills. The waves crash on the shore that boasts of their childhood together. 

“Yeah. Yeah I’d love to be a part of this with you guys.” 

—

It’s very late when Kairi comes home, yawning and chest feeling far less heavy than it did much earlier in the week. 

Her wife has the kids snuggled on both sides of her, the three of them all sharing two plush blankets between them. 

The living room is dim, barely lit with the faint light of the lamp in the far corner. The TV hums quietly with static and faint music, the player having gone back to the menu long after the end credits have passed. 

Kairi takes a deep breath. 

She thinks of the family Sora and Riku will have, will build. 

She thinks of her own, knows how much of herself she has poured into this new life of hers. 

She finds a lone blanket and settles in with her family, filling in the space left on the couch; Just for her, just for her. 

Kairi goes to sleep. 


	2. ii.

Eyes snapping open, air leaving lungs; the sensation of falling, falling, falling, even when waking up in the arms of a guardian. 

This is the feeling that takes pieces of Kairi’s heart out, leaving her crying and weeping and wailing and screaming, and there is little that the embrace of so many can do in this moment of fear, of loss, of confusion. 

She’s crying into Axel’s chest. She feels worried hands all over her. She recognizes the gentleness of Riku’s arms embracing her, too, and she can feel the apology in his chest when he asks, when he asks:

“Where is Sora?” says Riku, voice soft, lips brushing against her hair, but he knows the answer because Kairi can’t stop herself mumbling the same thing over and over and over -

“I don’t know,” she says after a deep, gasping breath. She gasps for more. Tears running down her cheeks as fast-fading memories are pulled away from her. “I don’t know, I don’t know. I don’t know.” But she does know.

Twin skies. A thunderous boom: Sora falling one way, Kairi falling the other.

He’s gone.

And with his departure, an empty space in Kairi’s heart.

And with his departure, a broken sky. 

Kairi comes to, comes to enough to look around her. She is in the Graveyard, surrounded by miles and miles of ancient keyblades and all of her friends except one. 

Her chest burns. She feels her hands shaking, trembling; she looks down, wills Sora into existence - hoping that maybe, maybe being Princess of Heart could do more than be convenient when it wants to be. 

As if to mock her, the Kingdom Key glows, burning in her hand.

She wants to scream. Instead, her lips stay shut and she throws the keyblade at the feet of the people around her. Destiny’s Embrace emerges but that, too, is thrown aside.

She is in hysterics. She denounces the keyblade. She denounces Kingdom Hearts. This is her final act as sovereign of Heart. No one stops her. 

—

Everything is kind of a blur. She remembers Aqua holding her, Axel checking in on her. Riku is a constant presence, too, but it’s awkward.

Since their return from the Graveyard, she can’t look him in the eyes. The guilt weighs her eyelids down and makes it hard to see anything. They don’t talk. 

“Hey, kiddo.” Axel says, one day, peeking in through Kairi’s bedroom door at the Mysterious Tower. Kairi notices his hair is more relaxed today, and his clothes, too. He looks comfortable, finally out of the cloak. “Hey.”

With a small voice, she replies: “Hi, Axel.” 

“It’s uh, move out day. For me and Rox and Xion. Destiny Island’s just a hop over and I know you only have, like, a backpack’s worth of stuff, so I thought I’d offer you a lift.” He offers a cheesy smile. Kairi returns it, though not quite as brightly. “You could hang with us for a little bit. Hell, you could crash if you wanted.” 

Kairi blinks. She bites her lip, looks at the empty space behind Axel. 

“They won’t mind, if that’s what you’re worried about,” Axel says. “Roxas and Xion both. They suggested I ask you.” 

“Oh. I,” Kairi breathes. Is she so transparent? “Oh. I just.”

“You’re not intruding.” He adds, and again that smile. Reassuring. “Get that memorized. We’re leaving in twenty.” 

Twilight Town is kind of a blur, too, but it’s not so bad. It’s cathartic enough, sitting at the edge of a clocktower with sea salt ice cream and surrounded by cheerful people trying their best. Xion had been particularly worried, pulling her aside, once. 

“Hey, are you okay?” Xion had asked. 

“Yeah, I’m having fun.” Kairi had lied. 

Axel had given her a tight hug when he dropped her off at Destiny Islands later that day.

“Hey, kid.” Axel leans on the frame of his gummi ship. Kairi looks at him. 

With a tired voice, Kairi: “Hi.” 

“You can call us any time, alright? If you want to just, I don’t know. Hang out. Crash.” He smiles. “We’ll make, like, a whole group therapy thing out of it or something. Just call. Anytime. Alright?” 

Kairi takes a deep breath, digs her heels in the sand of Destiny Island’s well-advertised beaches. Home. 

“What, no ‘get it memorized’ this time?” She asks, quirking a brow. 

He shrugs, grinning. “Sounds like you already got it.” 

A roll of her eyes later, Kairi walks further up the beach. She watches as the gummi ship rises higher and blinks away, becoming no more than a twinkle in the sky that’s dipping fast into sunset, like an early star. There’s a book about this feeling somewhere. Something about seeing several sunsets in one day. Something about watching sunsets when sad. 

The sand is still hot. The sand is getting into her shoes. Her backpack is weighing heavily on her shoulders. She’s supposed to be home, soon. 

Her mothers are waiting for her. 

—

Aqua is… there. She’s in the sitting room of the mayor’s house, dressed in new and well-tailored robes, out of place but not out of sorts. Her recently polished Mark of Mastery gleams from where it sits on her chest, proud. 

Terra is here, too, apparently, probably with Riku and Ventus - until the conversation Kairi is eavesdropping tells her Ventus is with Sora’s mother. 

Kairi’s mother is sitting with Aqua, and Kairi half-expects her to be chatting animatedly about one thing or another, but - there’s something solemn in the air, something heavy. Kairi can feel it in her chest like a weight. Her intuition tends to be pretty good. 

“What do you mean my daughter is a Princess of Heart?” says Kairi’s mother, says the mayor - the closest thing to a monarch Aqua will find in this world. 

Kairi watches as Aqua purses her lips. “There are many people in this… universe who have hearts of pure light. And of these people, there are a few who are chosen by fate to shoulder a piece of Kingdom Hearts.” 

“Oh,” says the mayor, frowning. “That’s a lot for one girl.” 

Aqua should be looking down. She nods and looks her right in the eye, instead. “We have no reason to believe she is in any current danger. In fact, we all just want to make sure she’s able to live a normal life right now.” 

The mayor has a steely expression. Kairi’s mother looks at Aqua carefully. “She will.”

I will, Kairi thinks. She counts to ten. She knocks on the wall, announces her presence. Neither woman seems surprised to see her at all. She wouldn’t be surprised if they knew she’d been listening.

“Mom. I, um. See you’ve met Aqua.” Kairi says tentatively. She blinks, looks at Aqua, and corrects herself. “Master Aqua.” 

“I was just telling your mother the events of the past few years. It’s good to see you, Kairi.” Aqua says, still formal. She turns towards the mayor. “Unfortunately, it is a great many years. I have a report prepared for you to read at your leisure, and should you have any questions regarding anything, especially with concern to Kairi, you can contact us any time.” 

“Who else knows of this?” Kairi’s mother asks. 

“Riku’s parents. And Sora’s mom,” Kairi says, realization dawning on her. “Oh.” 

“Yes,” Aqua nods. “Giving you all the full story as to all that’s happened so far is the very least we can do.” 

“Oh, of course.” The mayor hums before cocking her head. Something cutting moves across her mother’s face . “See to it that you do more in the future.”

Kairi bites her lip. Aqua maintains her composure, nods. 

“Of course.” Aqua stands up, the pooling fabric of her robes like shaped water. Kairi stares, feels a little bit of wonder, awe. “If you’ll excuse me. Kairi, it’s good to see you well. Mayor, thank you for letting me into your home.” 

A quick bow. Aqua looking over her shoulder to give Kairi an apologetic look. 

Heart above. Kairi is going to get sick of all this pity really quick. Count to ten. Try not to look down, look down anyway. 

“Mom,” Kairi says, voice soft and tired. “I’m going out. I’ll see you.” 

At least her mother’s embrace is warm, and reassuring. 

—

Kairi gives herself time to adjust. It’s the middle of summer. There’s not really much to do. 

She’s avoiding a lot of things; she hasn’t gone to the islet in a few weeks, few months. Selphie keeps texting her, showing up at her house and asking if she’d like to go. Kairi usually has a good excuse ready to turn her away. 

Mom hasn’t asked about Riku. Kairi wouldn’t know what to say if she asked, anyway. 

It’s been a minute since she’s seen him - Like, really seen him. Sat on the beach and talked to him from sunrise to sunset about anything and everything. But he’s grieving over the loss of someone he loves, someone who loved her just as deeply, who traded his life for her own. She can’t blame him. She would have done the same.

(Count to ten. Do it again, just for good measure. Just remember, at least Riku’s still here, at least he smiles at her when they pass by each other on the street.)

The sun is setting when Kairi steps out of her home. The cool ocean breeze greets her gently, playing with the hem of her loose shirt and making her hair tickle the back of her neck. She’s got a backpack hanging from one shoulder, holding a book and her gummiphone and her keys and a flashlight, just in case it gets too dark to read but too soon to go home. 

The beach is a good ten minute walk from the mayor’s house. Enough for three, four songs from her playlist. She makes the walk in three songs. 

There’s a stretch of boulders that comes out during low tide; It faces the sea and has a view of the islet in the distance. It’s quiet, no one ever comes here, it’s Kairi’s place. 

She climbs up the large rocks, makes her way to the end of the stretch carefully, her sandals secure in her hand as her bare feet find purchase against the ocean-smoothed stone. 

The sky is amber when she makes it to the end. The water crashes loudly against the rocks. Kairi feels the wind whip at her hair wildly. 

She takes a breath. 

The waves push and pull in tandem with her. 

She settles down, pulls out her book, gets comfortable. 

She soon realizes she can’t focus. The words on the book mean nothing to her. The pages look blurry and blank and full of things she can’t understand. Fine then. She can still sit here, enjoy the view, try to feel a semblance of _something._

Anything. Really. 

Ever since Sora - it’s like something has been purged from her heart, leaving a gaping space that refuses to right itself. Stubborn, empty, needy. Kairi has a hunger for something and she’s terrified she won’t ever find out what it is she needs. 

She stares into the ocean, into the horizon. 

She wonders. She wonders: if she could see far enough, if she could reach far enough, far past where the sky meets the sea and the horizon blurs, would she find another land, another world? Another sky, perhaps, stretching out to embrace an entire universe’s worth of hearts and lands and problems.

Would she find someone like her, tired and empty and yearning? Or perhaps, she might find whatever piece is missing, just waiting to come home

Kairi lies down. She closes her eyes. She listens to the ocean pounding against the rocks, the wind howling their goodnights. 

“You come here, too?” 

She starts as Riku’s voice cuts through the air. He’s got his eyes averted and his hand is scratching at the back of his neck, and hat certain downwards curve to his lip, the kind that Kairi knows means he can’t figure out what to say. 

“Only after five,” Kairi says. “Less people that way.” 

“Early morning is good, too. Before the sunrise.” Riku moves to sit down beside Kairi, legs dangling off the edge. “Is this okay?” 

“Yeah.” A blink. “Yeah, yeah it is. It’s cool. I’m glad you’re here.”

The crushing waves come back to her ears. 

“It’s been a minute, Riku.”

“Yeah, it has.” 

The wind keeps Riku’s hair lively. It’s longer than last she’d seen it. He’s probably growing it out. 

“You’ve been okay?” 

“Okay enough. Been a weird few months since it all… ended.” Kairi looks away. “I think I’m adjusting alright. You?”

He’s quiet. Or maybe the ocean is just too loud. “I’m not.” 

“Oh.” 

He can’t quite seem to know what to say. “Terra, Aqua, and Ventus were here a few weeks ago, talking to our parents,” he continues. He fumbles with his fingers. “My mom and dad, they know everything. I guess your moms do, too.” 

Kairi looks at him again, looks at him carefully. “You’re going somewhere with this.” 

Riku scoffs, hanging his head; Unable to meet Kairi’s eyes. “I’m moving to Departure.” 

“You’re leaving?” 

“I mean, I can’t stay.” Riku bites his lip. “There’s too much here. I can’t go anywhere without seeing him.” 

“What will you do at Departure?”

“Terra and Aqua are going to train me. I’ll retake my test. After that, I’m going to go and find him.”

“Riku,” Kairi furrows her brows. Purses her lips. “What if you don’t?” 

He shakes his head. He shrugs. “I will. I’ll figure it out.” 

Okay. 

“Okay.” She squeezes her eyes shut. Counts to ten. “Then, good luck, I guess. Promise to keep in touch.” 

—

So it’s just her again, on the island. Like every other time before.

She’s there at the beach when Terra comes to get Riku, travel with him back to Departure. She gives both of them tight hugs, wishing them safe travel. She and Riku avoid looking each other in the eye but they manage, somewhat. 

Kairi isn’t angry with him. She understands why he can’t stay. She just wishes that him leaving wouldn’t add to the guilt she carries for Sora’s life. She just wishes that Riku could look at her and not see the trade of Sora’s life for hers. But, maybe he needs this. Maybe they both do. 

Riku can’t stand to stay in Destiny Islands. Kairi can’t stand to keep waiting for them across the universe. They have the same exact problem, the same gaping hole in their lives; An emptiness shaped just like Sora. 

At least Riku keeps his promises; He’s good at that. 

The first text she receives from him comes just later that week, and it’s a picture of his room at Departure. Neat, organized, with just a touch of typical young adult mess. 

Her gummiphone clicks into standby. She puts it face down on her desk, turns around and assesses her own room. 

It is nine months since it all ended. 

Her hand closes into a fist, for the first time in a while she registers in her mind that she feels just a little bit determined. For what, to do what, she’s not sure. It’s all a little vague. 

But Sora traded his life for hers. Kairi isn’t sure if it was a fair trade. Maybe she won’t ever think it’s a fair trade, but she can try to make it one. 

—

School is good. She’s in her senior year, her classes are challenging. She’s hanging out with Selphie a lot more, confiding in her and talking to her about anything. 

Selphie never asks about Sora - no one does. It’s not that they don’t want to, or don’t know about him; it’s more that they don’t know how to ask about him. So no one asks about Sora. But every now and then someone will ask about Riku, and. Well. Kairi only says he’s finishing school elsewhere. It’s not a total lie.

“Well, he did always want to move away from Destiny Islands…” Selphie hums. 

And it’s an answer that works. 

About two months in, on a sunny weekend morning, her mother comes into her room and sits down on Kairi’s bed, a gentle hand on Kairi’s shoulder. 

Kairi blinks awake, the dip of the bed having woken her. As she does, her gummi phone vibrates on her desk - a text. Then, another. A lot of messages. 

“Mom?” 

“Good morning, Kairi,” greets her mother, smiling gently. She sighs, glancing at Kairi’s phone. “Master Aqua just called me. I imagine those are your friends messaging you about this.”

“About…? Is something wrong?”

“I don’t think so. You’re needed in Radiant Garden, to help bring back someone. A girl named Naminé.”

Kairi sits up, staring at her mother. At her phone. Her mother, again. “Naminé? When do I go?” 

Kairi’s mother smiles again, seemingly reassured. “Tomorrow, if you want. I believe Riku has volunteered to bring you.” 

Kairi grins. Her mother definitely notices. Then, Kairi frowns. 

Besides Riku, she wouldn’t know how she’d react on seeing everyone else. Roxas and Xion, they’ll probably be there. Former Organization XIII members, too. 

“Could you go with me?” She asks, voice small and bringing a sad curve to her mother’s lips. 

“I can’t,” she tells her. “I have a few appointments to take care of until mid-week. I’ll be there with you the latter half of this week, alright?” 

Kairi thinks, well okay. That’s not so bad. She can do two, three days on her own trying to get Naminé back. She packs her duffel bag in a manner of minutes, checks her messages and coordinates with Riku where and when to pick her up. 

She doesn’t wait until the next morning; Riku comes by late in the evening, parking his very new keyblade glider at the front door and leaning on it with his arms crossed, nonchalant. 

They stare at each other. They smile. 

“You look better,” Kairi says. He really does. 

“You do, too.” says Riku. 

One foot in front of the other. Riku manifests a helmet for Kairi at the same time his armor surrounds him with a bright, cool light. Kairi watches, just a touch amazed, because maybe a part of her still wants to do something like that. But no. 

“That’s a neat trick.” she says, mildly impressed. She puts on the helmet. Riku cocks his head, and Kairi can’t help but imagine the pleased smirk underneath the visor. 

She takes a seat behind Riku, wraps her arms around him carefully as his glider rises from the ground. A surge later, light surrounding them and magic making them fly, they are among the stars in the evening sky.

It’s a bit of a ride to Radiant Garden, if Kairi remembers correctly. It’s incredibly quiet out here. The stars jaunt past them.

She rests her head against Riku’s back. 

“How’ve you been?” she asks him. She looks up, watches as his helmet turns her way. 

“Pretty good. I’ve been beating Terra pretty consistently when we spar.” There’s a slight crackle to his voice over the communication link. “You?”

“Pretty good, yeah. Started college applications.” 

“Know where you’re going?” 

Kairi shrugs. “Probably somewhere nearby. Kind of undecided right now. Mom suggested I look at a big school in, like, San Fransokyo or Twilight Town. But I don’t really want to leave the Islands.” 

“Mm.”

She hugs him a little tighter. 

“I miss you.” He tells her. He means to say, _I’m sorry I left._

She laughs, kind of. “I miss you, too.” She means, _I’m used to it._

“I should have asked you to come with me, to Departure.” 

She hums thoughtfully. “I probably would have said no. Even if you asked now, I’d say no.” 

Space between worlds; Expansive silence. 

“You know, Riku. It was never about being with the two of you out there, for me.” She continues. “I just wanted all of us to be home together. Live normal lives. Go to the same college, live in the same town, on the same street.” 

Riku leans back, leans into her embrace. He’s trying. 

“When I find Sora,” he says, and Kairi is so jealous of his confidence. “When I find him, we’ll go home. We’ll live on the same street. The three of us, together. I promise you.”

Well, he’s always been good at promises. 

But Heart above, she doesn’t know how to tell him she doesn’t want to be waiting anymore. 

So, instead, she just says, “That sounds nice.” 

They lean into each other. For the rest of the way to Radiant Garden, things feel okay. Things feel like they’re progressing. The stars fall, and she wishes on all of them.

—

Radiant Garden waits for Kairi with a kind of soft stillness; the flowers rooted in the gardens sway in the breeze. 

She wants to see Naminé now, but Ienzo and Ansem and Even are busy doing the final preparations for the replica so they won’t be able to meet with Kairi and Riku until much later. Riku is pacing up and down the castle garden, impatient, and Kairi sits on a bench in the center, eyes staring at nothing in particular. 

Radiant Garden’s spring breeze pulls at the flowerbeds, but doesn’t uproot them.

Roxas and Xion come, too, just like Kairi figured they would. They walk into the garden together, a conversation between them. 

Without thinking Kairi looks for the resemblance between them and Sora; she finds it, and more. 

Riku stops his pacing and looks at Roxas.

“Hey.”

“Sup.”

Riku passes on a curt nod before continuing his pacing. The other two look at Kairi, smile at her kindly. 

“Hey,” Kairi tries to smile back. She’s nervous. “Want to sit with me?”

Xion grins and nods, and she sits beside Kairi immediately. Roxas takes his time, relaxed and composed.

“Are you excited?” He asks Kairi. “Nams is basically your sister, isn’t she?” 

Kairi hasn’t thought about it like that before, but, “Yeah. She kind of is.” She smiles. “I wonder if she’d go home with me to Destiny Islands. It would be nice to have a sister.” 

“Probably better than having a brother,” Xion muses, throwing a teasing look at Roxas. He frowns at her, rolls his eyes, but Kairi can tell it’s all in good fun. 

“It’s good we’re all here for her.” He says, shrugging. 

“Why?” Kairi asks.

“It’ll be easier for her heart to find its way back,” Xion explains. “We all have a connection to her, and since we’re close to the vessel, she’ll find the vessel a lot easier.”

“Oh,” Kairi hums. “That makes sense.” She supposes Xion would know.

Ienzo comes for them, all gentle and smiling. He’s excited, madly so: the grin of a man who has found progress. Kairi can’t help but be affected by it; She sees him and knows. 

“The replica is ready.” he tells them. Kairi’s shoulders rise, straighten; her hands curl in her lap, gathering the fabric of her pants. 

Roxas smiles like he knows exactly what’s about to happen. Xion grins. Just behind them, Riku holds his breath. 

Kairi doesn’t even register the castle walls around her as they all make their way inside, Ienzo leading them through the halls. For some reason she feels she should care a little bit, because there’s something both familiar and not, but her memories of Radiant Garden are hazy at best and she doesn’t really care, anyway. 

Naminé is waiting to come home. 

Ienzo leads them into the lab where Even and Ansem are both waiting. Roxas and Xion don’t look at Ansem; Don’t even seem to give him any attention or acknowledgement. Riku gives him a curt nod. 

“Let’s get on with it, then, shall we?” Even says, cutting into the odd silence. He looks at Ienzo, who nods and moves to a monitor near Naminé. 

Everyone takes their places around the replica.

“You,” Roxas says, turning to Ansem. “Get out.” 

Even and Ienzo stand awkwardly. Ansem seems mildly surprised by Roxas’ directness, but the hard stare Xion gives him and the pointed indifference Riku has is enough to keep the elder man silent. He leaves, the door closing behind him with a quiet click. 

Kairi looks away from them and focuses her attention on Naminé. 

The replica already looks like her, if not just a touch - paler? Less saturated doesn’t seem like the way to describe it, but there’s a lack of color to all of her. Like an unfinished painting, or a photograph that’s been left forgotten in an attic. 

“Can I hold her hand?” Kairi asks. 

“It may help,” Ienzo says. 

“Help what?” Riku looks at him. “What are we trying to do, exactly?” 

“We’re trying to establish a connection,” Roxas. “Her heart has to find its way here.” 

To be fair, it’s all a little vague. Riku looks frustrated. Kairi looks at him sympathetically.

“You were with her for a while, weren’t you?” Xion cuts in, looking towards Riku. “Besides Kairi, you’ve got a pretty good shot at bringing her back, too.” 

She gestures for him to come closer, and as he does she stands up from the seat she’d taken beside Naminé’s sleeping body. Riku hesitates before sitting down, reaching out to touch her hand with his. Their fingers brush. 

Kairi looks back to her own hand, slipping hers into Naminé’s. Her other hand comes around to cover the intertwined fingers. 

She gave Sora a new body, once. She found him in the darkness between worlds, once. 

She closes her eyes. She takes a deep breath. She holds Naminé’s hand tighter, wonders if Riku is doing the same. 

It’s worth a shot, calling back to her destiny-given title, and will to existence a person.

Her eyes are closed, so she doesn’t see, but the room fills with light; It’s like she has her eyes closed on a bright sunny afternoon in the height of summer, the light pouring through her eyelids and making her vision amber. 

—

Later, she says: “Here, I brought some of my clothes for you.” 

The fabric rustles as she lifts it, light filtering in through lace curtains. A sweet spring breeze delivering the aroma of a garden of flowers. Two girls sitting across each other on a bed, a duffel bag between them; Kairi focused as she pulls out several outfits for Naminé, and Naminé, who is just watching, curious, curious, curious. 

“You don’t have to.”

“What, and let you wear that dress for a week straight?” 

“I feel a little guilty, taking from you.” Naminé admits.

“You’re not taking,” Kairi looks up. She smiles at Naminé. “I’m giving.” 

Naminé flushes a little. She ducks her head, tucking her hair behind her ear. “Thank you.” 

—

Roxas and Xion have to head back to Twilight Town. Their gliders hover steadily at the garden, disturbing the flower beds. Naminé has flowers for them; picked just this morning, she tells them. Kairi helped. 

“Did you pick them from the garden?” Xion asks, holding the bunch of forget-me-nots close. Roxas, to contrast, is holding sunflowers. “Is that allowed?” 

“Um,” Naminé says. She looks at Kairi. “Is it?”

Kairi shrugs. Roxas snorts. “It is now.” He says, “Thanks, Nams. Hit us up if you ever want to drop by Twilight Town, yeah?” 

“Yeah. Hit us up. Like any time.” 

Roxas and Kairi raise a brow at Xion. The girl seems to pointedly ignore them both. 

Naminé grins at Xion. “I will.”

Roxas and Kairi look at each other, smile. 

“Xion, come on. Axel’s cooking tonight, which means I have to cook tonight so we don’t eat shit.” He nudges her shoulder roughly, smirking at the look of surprise on her face. He turns to Kairi and Naminé both, nods, and in a flash of light, his armor is donned and his bright red visor shines. 

Xion stares at him. Stares at Naminé and Kairi. Manages to say something that vaguely sounds like ‘see you later’ and in a moment, she’s covered in dark amber metal; matte and cool. Her helmet quirks to the side in a final goodbye to the two girls. 

Roxas steps onto his glider and Xion climbs onto hers; In a blink, they’ve joined the sky as fast-fading stars. 

“So, that’s pretty cool.” Naminé says. “The glider thing.” 

“Right?” 

Naminé pouts for a bit. Kairi wonders if she’s thinking the same thing; That it would be cool to be able to do that one day. She’s sure if Naminé wanted to have a keyblade, Kairi would be more than willing to wholeheartedly support her. 

“Oh well. I don’t need a keyblade, anyway,” Naminé shrugs, turning to Kairi and grinning. “I’m a witch.”

Kairi blinks. 

“And you’re a Princess of Heart.”

Not anymore, at least, if she had a choice. 

“I feel like we could do more on our own than anyone with a keyblade can.” 

Well. At least her confidence is inspiring.

—

Both of Kairi’s mothers make the trip to Radiant Garden via gummi ship; Riku had headed out in the early morning to pick them up. Kairi guesses by the way her mothers fuss over him that he’s won over their hearts. Could also be that they figured out he’s gay. Could be both. 

Kairi smiles a little bit to herself, watching the mayor’s wife pinch Riku’s cheeks. 

She and Naminé stand a little further up the pathway, holding each other’s hands as they wait for the mayor and her wife to notice them. Kairi feels Naminé’s hand hold hers tighter with anticipation. 

“Do you think they’ll like me?” 

“They’ll love you,” Kairi says with a smile. She looks down the pathway, raises her free hand and waves, yelling, “Mom! Ma!” 

The two women look towards Kairi and Naminé, grinning brightly. 

What happens next is a little like a movie. It’s a little slow moving, despite the rush of the moment. The mayor of Destiny Islands takes wide strides to make it across the garden, her wife following her excitedly. Kairi takes one step down the pathway’s stairs, Naminé following behind her. 

“Look at you,” Kairi’s mother says, holding Naminé’s hands tightly in hers. She smiles at Naminé, pulls her in gently for a hug. “Look at you both. My girls.”

A little later, in the castle foyer: The mayor of Destiny Islands, Naminé beside her. Across from them, Ansem, with a surly expression across his face.

“You would rather live on the Islands?” Ansem asks, raising a brow towards Naminé. What he doesn’t imply is that here on Radiant Garden, everything is better. That Radiant Garden has much that Destiny Islands does not.

The mayor squints her eyes, raising her chin. 

Naminé: “I don’t want to stay here.” 

“Are you sure?” He presses. 

“She already said no,” says the mayor, pressing her hand to Naminé’s back. “We leave at the end of this week.” 

Kairi waits for Naminé at the end of the hallway, her hand outstretched to catch Naminé’s when the other finally makes it to her. Their eyes meet, they smile. The mayor turns on her heel and walks to her girls, leaving Ansem alone in the middle of the foyer.

Two days later, they leave Radiant Garden behind them.

“Do you want a birthday party?” asks the mayor’s wife, smiling at Naminé over her seat in the gummi ship. 

Naminé blinks. “It’s not my birthday.” 

The mayor snorts. “It can be.” She doesn’t say, _you didn’t have one_. 

Naminé looks at Riku, who shrugs in casual support. When she turns to look at Kairi, Kairi is beaming; excited by the very idea of it. 

So they plan it. A huge beachside party that everyone is invited to. Kairi’s mothers organize for food to be ferried to the islet on the appointed day, while Kairi and Naminé busy themselves over Kairi’s wardrobe; What to wear, what to wear! 

In the end, Naminé settles for a sky blue linen dress that reaches down to her ankles. Kairi picks out a thin sleeveless hoodie and pink shorts. A few hairpins to keep their hair in place later, Kairi is guiding the motor boat to the islet, Naminé at the front and laughing as the ocean wind whips her hair around. 

It’s a lively scene; Ventus has taken to the waves on a surfboard, Xion and Roxas watching him with boards of their own. Aqua, Terra, Isa, and Axel are playing volleyball. The kids from Twilight Town are there, too, hardly dressed for the beach but having fun nonetheless. 

Kairi holds Naminé’s hand as she leads her through the group, waving at Mickey and Donald and Goofy as the two girls join in on the fun. 

At some point, Kairi looks over her shoulder, watches Naminé celebrate the life she deserves to have. The life she has waited for. For the first time since Naminé’s return, though, Kairi notices a sadness in Naminé’s eyes. A sadness she recognizes.

Their eyes meet. Kairi realizes, then, Naminé is missing someone, too. 

Kairi isn’t sure why this upsets her. Maybe it’s because she realizes now how unfairly she and her now-sister had both been treated. Maybe it’s also because she hasn’t really thought about Sora in some time. At least, not with the same overwhelming grief as before. 

She wonders, rather belatedly: Who is it that Naminé lost? 

Kairi excuses herself from the party, slipping away towards the leaning paopu tree. She hasn’t been here in some time; too busy avoiding it altogether. She takes a seat on the tree, climbing awkwardly and throwing her legs over the trunk. 

She leans, her palms pressing flat around the tree as she closes her eyes and counts to ten. The party is just barely audible from where she is, the waves crashing against the cliffside loud and thunderous. She inhales; exhales. And again. 

Kairi wants to try something. 

Right now, she has neither a vessel for Sora, or even a replication of his memories. But, she does have a great number of the people closest to him, and she does have a destiny-given title that she’s considering calling upon. 

So. Kairi wants to try something; She wants to establish a connection. 

A deep breath; Inhale through the nose and exhale through the lips. Feed the fire in the hearth of her chest, feel the warmth each intake of air brings. The ocean sound pounds in her ears, the paopu tree leaves rustling. The light is hers, waiting, patient especially on the days she does not want it.

It’s a little like praying; It’s a lot like wishing. Her hands clasp together and, Heart above, if there is one miracle in this world she could choose to perform, it would be this. 

She doesn’t want to keep waiting for things to get better; she really, really doesn’t. 

“So don’t.” 

Her eyes snap open, she looks beside her. She knows, even before it registers in her mind, that the boy beside her with wild hair and a grin as brilliant as any star, is just a mirage. A trick of the light. A memory barely made tangible just to appease the yearning inside her heart. It’s not him.

“Don’t wait for me,” this image tells her. Tells her things she so badly needs to hear; wants to hear. “You deserve better than to be kept waiting.” 

The image takes her hand in his, and Kairi cries because she can see her hand through his. He’s not here. This isn’t him. 

The sun sets over the horizon. When Kairi looks up, the image is gone. 

Her chest feels like it’s caving in. Manifesting an image of Sora is a mistake she didn’t think through. The guilt and the sorrow and the pain all come back like waves crashing into the sand and she cannot stop crying. 

Kairi looks back towards the beach, her vision blurring because of the tears in her eyes. Riku turns away.

Kairi decides to join the others again.

—

Later, Kairi overhears a little bit of Riku and Naminé’s conversation, the ocean waves white noise against their voices. She’s sitting by the pier, balancing a plate of dried fruit in her lap as the two talk just a little ways away from her.

“I hope,” says Naminé, her voice resolute and sad. “I hope one day I can thank him myself.” 

“I think he’d like that.” A beat, two. “He didn’t have to sacrifice himself. There were other ways.” 

“But he did. He did, and before he did, he already decided he would.” 

Kairi tries to focus her attention further up the beach, where Ventus, Xion, and Roxas are taking their places for a race. They wait for Terra to tell them to go. 

“You can’t change a heart that’s been decided.” A crack in Riku’s voice.

Terra shouts and the three start sprinting; Xion leads, Roxas a close second. Ventus, later, will cite having been asleep for ten years as reason for his lack of speed.

Kairi looks down at her hands. She presses them to her heart. She tries to imagine the expansive warmth of Sora’s own heart; A decisive heart, a heart that is earnest and honest and determined. 

“He would have made the same decision, he would have traded his life for mine, a million times over. Even if I didn’t agree, he’d believe every single time that it was worth it.” 

Kairi chews on a dried mango. Naminé hugs Riku tight before leaving him to join the others for the next race. The water laps at his feet, and Kairi turns her eyes toward him, meeting his. 

Riku is crying.


	3. iii.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> there's a little bit of kailette in this - just a touch :)
> 
> thanks for waiting!

The party ends late at night, gliders taking off in the sky. Riku is the first to leave, holding Naminé and Kairi tight in his arms before his armor manifests and he’s gone, a falling star in the horizon. He doesn’t give Kairi a chance to say something about the mirage; Maybe he shouldn’t. Kairi certainly wouldn’t, were she in his place. 

Naminé pretends not to notice the tension surrounding Kairi, and Kairi can tell. The two girls aren’t so different; Naminé is just as good at pretending things are alright as Kairi is. 

Kairi thinks Naminé realizes that quickly, because a week later Naminé stops decorating her side of their shared bedroom and faces Kairi. 

She says: “I’m worried about you.” 

This is the dichotomy of the Witch and the Princess -

Kairi keeps her focus on the dull, warm pink decorations on her side of the room. She sorts through a box of pink picture frames, pink streamers, pink stick-on shapes; her hands keep idly moving, keep her busy, keep her from looking behind her.

Naminé faces away from her side of the room, her hands holding onto a roll of light blue ribbon. Behind her, her blue desk, her blue picture frames, her cloud-shaped lamp with a soft blue base to keep it upright. Her gaze on Kairi’s back is gentle; The worry is evident, the love more so. 

“I’m fine,” Kairi says, shrugging. Her hands stop shuffling, her eyes glance up on the blank wall in front of her. 

“Please look at me.” Naminé says. “Please look at me and tell me you’re fine.” 

Kairi’s hands still completely. She wants to turn around, to take Naminé’s challenge, but she can’t. She can’t, and Naminé knows. 

The Witch crosses the room, wraps her arms around the Princess, and holds her tightly. 

They move to sit on the plush carpet in the middle of the room, the one divider between them. Kairi holds her head in her hands, fingers gripping her dark hair while Naminé sits close to her, soft blue eyes watching her sister through wisps of white-blond hair. 

“I don’t know how to tell you this stupid - ” Kairi breathes, “ - _stupid_ thing I did.” 

Naminé is quiet for a moment, her hand gently brushing the back of Kairi’s head. “Do you want to try and letting me see, instead?” She asks, and it’s such a strange feeling; Kairi baring her heart to someone who can actually understand how weird and stupid all of this Kingdom Hearts-given magic is. 

Kairi nods because she’s not sure she can fully express the extreme inanity of manifesting an image of a person she loves just so she could see him again. Naminé tries to smile at her as she takes her hands in hers. The two girls go quiet. 

It’s a difficult sensation to describe; Kairi knows what it’s like to have memories taken from her, to have memories returned. But to have her memories walked through, to feel her life be experienced by someone other than herself - it’s all a little strange. It should feel invasive, but it’s Naminé, so it doesn’t. 

Naminé is careful about memories. This is her garden; She knows the very nature of memories, her magic intimately tied to them. There is no glow to her magic, nothing blinding like Kairi’s connection to Kingdom Hearts. Instead, it’s subtle; quiet. She walks the margins of a person’s heart, the boundaries that connect one heartbeat to the next. 

This is how she travels; This is how she moves. This is how Naminé knows and feels what she does, and perhaps there is something poetic in knowing that Sora’s many connections are Naminé’s garden pathways. 

It’s not an old memory, so it doesn’t take Naminé too long to find it. In Kairi’s mind, the memory pauses. This is what she can see: The sunset in the horizon, her legs dangling over the leaning paopu tree. Though Naminé keeps the memory frozen, Kairi can feel the beginnings of her call to Kingdom Hearts; Even as a memory, the light is excessively strong. 

Kairi takes a deep, shuddering breath. Naminé squeezes her fingers. “Do you still want to do this?”

“Yes.” 

The surge of light from Kingdom Hearts. The fabrication of Sora’s voice, the image of his smile nothing more than a magic trick. The sun dips over the horizon. Sora disappears. Kairi’s heart breaks, and it’s because of a silly, impulsive experiment. 

When Kairi opens her eyes, tears blurring her vision yet again, Naminé is staring at her with such strong sympathy it may as well be empathy. Maybe it is. Maybe she does understand. She _does_ understand. 

“Who did you lose?” Kairi asks, choking on her tears. Naminé’s smile doesn’t waver, but her eyes lower. 

“He was a replica of Riku,” she tells her. “He was like a brother to me. I’m here because he gave up the vessel he was supposed to take.” 

Kairi laughs, kind of. It’s bitter. “His life for yours.” 

Naminé gives her a wry smile. “It wasn’t the first time he ran head first into danger for me.” 

“Oh,” Kairi holds her face in her hands. She laughs again. “God. I hate this.” 

Naminé purses her lips. “‘This,’” she says, “Doesn’t care how you feel about it. You have to live with it. It’s how you choose to live with it that matters.” 

Kairi wipes her tears away roughly with her hand. She sniffles. Count to ten. Hope no more tears fall. Here comes the rush. 

“Remember what I said to Riku,” Naminé tells her, and, oh god, Kairi realizes Naminé knows she was eavesdropping. Her eyes snap to Naminé’s. There’s no anger. “The replica would have made the same choice a million times over if he could, and I know he would. He believed my life was worth the trade. He would never have stopped believing that, ever.” 

Naminé takes Kairi’s hands in hers. She squeezes them tightly. Her eyes burn with understanding. 

“Sora believes the same about you,” she continues, and Kairi doesn’t correct her use of tenses. “He will always believe your life is worth the trade. That’s not an easy truth to live with, but it doesn’t care about being easy or difficult.”

Then, quieter.

“You have to move on. And you have to do it for yourself.”

Okay.

Kairi takes a deep breath. 

“Okay.” 

—

Naminé barely needs help catching up to school. Her placement tests easily put her in the same advanced classes Kairi is in and they both end up filling the same applications to their colleges of choice. By graduation, they’re both committed to the same college just an island over. They don’t bother applying for dormitory housing; They’d request each other as roommates and it would hardly be different from living at home. 

Riku makes the effort of attending the graduation. He’s waiting for them after the ceremony holding a pink flower bouquet in one arm and a blue flower bouquet in the other, but that’s hardly the most endearing thing he’s doing there -- His outfit, too, is cleverly coordinated, and it’s hilarious how his pink button up and sky blue slacks make him look like a walking cotton candy stick. 

“That is easily the gayest outfit I’ve ever seen you in,” Kairi says, laughing as Riku embraces her. They don’t talk about the mirage; The look he gives her tells her they don’t need to. “Or at least, second to that double zipper vest thing you wore when you fought Xemnas.”

“Listen,” he huffs, rolling his eyes. “Exposing my abdomen was incredibly important. It tied the whole look together.” 

Naminé can’t stop laughing. 

Summer comes. Riku visits Destiny Islands more often, tells Kairi and Naminé about how his training is progressing. He should be able to retake his test of mastery soon, and then he’ll start travelling. Finding a way to Sora. He’ll study under King Mickey, making use of his resources to figure out what his next step is. 

Kairi feels conflicted about it. She wants Riku to move on, but she also knows Riku never will. His heart is decided on Sora and she has to respect that - and, she does. 

Naminé adds something to both Kairi and Riku’s lives; She’s like a sister to them both. Kairi knows this because Riku has been looking progressively happier, more peaceful after spending time alone with Naminé. 

They’re walking down the small strip mall in downtown Destiny Islands, drinking paopu fruit shakes, when something catches Riku’s attention. He stops walking and he furrows his brows. 

“Is that Ventus?” He asks, and Kairi and Naminé turn their heads to the direction Riku is pointing at. 

It is Ventus; They can tell by the hair because nowadays Roxas doesn’t brush his hair as often as Ventus does and it’s obvious. Also, Ventus keeps his Mark of Mastery on him at all times, even when he’s out of the robes and wearing casual wear like he is today. 

He’s standing outside the convenience store, a bag of treats in one hand and a cup of paopu fruit smoothie in the other. He looks like he’s waiting for someone, his gaze pointed towards the interior of the store. Curious, the trio make their way towards the keyblade master. As they do, Xion and Roxas exit the store, carrying their own bags, undoubtedly filled with sweets. 

“Xion!” Naminé calls, and she skips the rest of the way towards the siblings. Xion looks over, brightens immediately, and waves at her. 

“What are you guys doing here?” Riku asks, nodding his greeting. Kairi stands beside him, waiting. 

“We’re visiting mom,” Ventus says. Immediate confusion goes across Riku and Kairi’s faces. Ventus flushes, laughs sheepishly. “Well, okay. Sora’s mom, but we just call her mom now.” 

Kairi figures it probably started when Ventus visited Sora’s mother the year before. Riku makes a quiet sound, nodding. “Oh. Cool.” He says. 

Roxas cocks his head. “We were grabbing some snacks before visiting her.” 

It’s definitely an invitation, the way he says it. But it flies over Riku’s head and he looks conflicted, and Kairi and Naminé can tell he doesn’t know if he should ask if they could join. 

Xion seems to decide for him. “Come on, the more the merrier. She’ll be so happy to see you guys.” 

So they go.

Sora’s mother is a sweet elderly lady who uses a cane to help her get around these days. She’s a retired fisherwoman, having spent most of her life working in the local economy; If there’s anyone who truly knows the ins and outs of Destiny Islands’ chain of islands, it would be her.

Of what Kairi remembers of her, she likes to bake; Kairi remembers coming over to Sora’s house often with Riku and having fruit tarts for snacks in between doing homework and watching movies. 

“Oh!” Sora’s mother exclaims when she opens the door and sees Riku, Naminé, and Kairi trailing behind Xion. “Oh, it’s been so long, Riku, Kairi! Do visit more, I can make you your favorite pastries again. And is this your sister, Kairi?” 

Kairi doesn’t know Sora’s mother’s name; She’s called her Sora’s mom since she was a child. If she were to guess, the name would probably start with an ‘A,’ but she can’t just outrightly ask. Maybe Ventus would know. She can ask him later. 

Kairi gestures to Naminé, nodding brightly. “Yeah. This is Naminé.” 

“She looks so much like you!” The elderly woman says, wobbling over to meet with Naminé. She looks at the young girl carefully, eyes wide with awe. “So pretty. Your mothers are so lucky, having such lovely girls. Why haven’t I met you before, sweets?” 

Naminé smiles, flushing lightly. She’s not sure what to say. “I, um - “

Roxas steps in, then, standing beside Naminé. “She’s like me, mom. Like how I’m Sora’s Nobody, Naminé is Kairi’s Nobody.” 

Sora’s mother nods sagely. For a moment, Kairi thinks Ventus must have explained everything to her well, but then: “I don’t think I will ever understand a thing about this Kingdom Hearts stuff. You know, Ventus really was awful at trying to explain it to me when he was here last year. Awful boy.”

Behind her, Ventus turns a bright red and mumbles something about trying his best. Beside him, Xion patting his back, but she’s giggling behind her hand. 

Sora’s mother taps her chin, still looking at Naminé. “Now, I know I’ve heard about you before. Xion, sweetheart,” She turns around, gesturing towards her daughter. Xion freezes. “This is the Naminé you keep telling me about, yeah? Has to be. Naminé isn’t a very common name.” 

Xion’s blush burns redder than Ventus’. Her brothers laugh, Kairi grins. Riku’s smiling, too, and Naminé, though she’s not sure why they’re all grinning at Xion’s expense. 

Sora’s mom waves her hand and dismisses any further talk of Kingdom Hearts. Roxas moves beside her, offering his arm, and the grin that spreads across her face brings Kairi back to a childhood of watching Sora dote on her. She and Riku delay a moment behind everyone else, both of them lost in remembering a young boy walking with his elderly mother across busy streets and petulantly adamant about carrying bags of groceries across the threshold of their seaside home. 

“You know,” Riku says, standing beside Kairi. They both stare at the others as they step inside the house. “Up until now, it didn’t occur to me that I wasn’t the only one who lost Sora.”

Kairi can’t stop the burst of harsh, bitter laughter from her lips. Oh, god. “You and me, we are such selfish people, aren’t we?” 

He looks at her, smiling wryly. “Maybe we should get therapy.” 

“Axel did say I could call any time if I wanted to crash in Twilight Town,” Kairi hums. “He said we could make a whole group therapy thing out of it.” 

“Is that verbatim?” 

“He told me to get it memorized, so yeah. It’s verbatim.” They laugh between themselves. Ventus pokes his head out the door, gestures towards them to get in already. They do. 

The house smells faintly of fish and traditional Destiny Islands stews. There’s a certain homely dimness to the interior; The floors and walls and most of the furniture are made of dark wood. Over the years, when other pieces of furniture have worn down and become useless, they’re replaced by other things. Three different colored plastic chairs at the small dining table take the place of what should be ornately carved wooden dining chairs.

There’s a display case off to the side in the living room for what should be teacups and fine china, and a few of its shelves display them proudly, but accompanying them on other shelves are various sea shells, action figures; random knick knacks collected over the years. The cushions on the couch don’t match; the throw blankets less so. 

Up on the wall by the kitchen are flimsy calendars, a few that Kairi remembers seeing years ago. She can’t help but smile when she notices this; She remembers Sora and his mother excitedly exclaiming at a silly image of cat in one of their calendars, making each other promise never to take it off the wall. She guesses that over the years, they’ve decided the same over other images in other calendars. The two of them are so easily impressed. 

Kairi thinks it hasn’t changed much over the years. 

Kairi’s eyes trail towards the hallway that leads to the bedrooms. She wonders if anything has changed in Sora’s bedroom. 

“Hey, check this out,” Riku says, suddenly beside her. Kairi turns her head and sees an old, dusty photo album open in his hands. He’s pointing at a few pictures. “I totally forgot about this.”

She leans over and looks at one of the pictures, laughing softly at what she sees: Sora, Riku, and her at one of the seaside ice cream shops, their faces messy with various flavors of ice cream. “Heart above. We must have been, like, seven.” 

“Happier times.” He says. They look at each other and scoff between themselves. 

Sora’s mother calls them from the kitchen, saying something about having some egg tarts for them. Kairi starts moving towards the kitchen, but pauses when Riku doesn’t do the same. She looks at him - He’s staring in the same direction Kairi was looking at earlier; Sora’s room.

“We shouldn’t.” 

“Yeah,” It’s a half-hearted agreement. “Yeah.”

She reaches out and takes his hand, tugging him slightly. It’s one of those rare moments when she can move him easily; He isn’t rooted. Isn’t present. Kairi feels bad for him. 

The rest of the visit makes Kairi feel much like a fly on the wall. Sora’s mother fusses over her and Riku a lot but maybe it’s because Sora’s now-siblings are there but Sora’s mother doesn’t seem to give too much notice to either Kairi or Riku. Something about that bothers Kairi, and she can tell Riku feels much the same way - if not more so. She catches him staring at Sora’s mother a lot, his finger fumbling with each other and picking at his nails. There’s something torn in his expression. 

They stay for dinner, at least. Sora’s mother insists on setting up the dining table with several stews, a generous pot of fluffy white rice, and enough mismatched plates and utensils for all of them. The evening is spent talking about one thing or another, the entire family sitting comfortably on the old, creaky couch and seats, balancing plates on laps. 

Ventus is the first to leave. He gives his mother a tight hug and accepts an affectionate ruffle of his hair. He gives Riku a nod and tells him he looks forward to seeing him back on Departure. He summons his glider outside, and takes off.

Roxas follows after bowing slightly to allow his mother to give him a peck on the forehead and a similar affectionate ruffling. His mother whispers to him a safe trip, and then he, too, joins the starry night sky on his glider. 

Xion delays a moment; Her mother holds her hands tight and looks deeply into Xion’s eyes, examining her. She whispers something; Something sweet and heartfelt and intimate and Kairi can tell without eavesdropping that it’s about Sora. Xion’s eyes fill with emotion. 

They kiss each other’s cheek, and before Kairi gets to see Xion off, Sora’s mother turns towards her and Riku and approaches them. Something heavy in the air, something heavy in their hearts. She ushers them inside as Xion offers Naminé a ride back home. 

Kairi looks over her shoulder, behind her. Xion is staring at her with something between concern and sorrow. But Kairi doesn’t have enough time to ask or wonder why - Sora’s mother is pushing her inside, fussing. 

“You’ll have to forgive an old woman like me, distracting myself with my children instead of tending to you both,” Sora’s mother says. Kairi and Riku fluster, beginning to tell her not to worry at all, but Sora’s mother silences them both with a gentle wave of her hand. “Oh, come along, two of you.”

Riku and Kairi stay silent, following the elder woman. She leads the two back to the living room, gesturing for them to sit down while she opens the display cabinet full of precious china and random knick knacks. Riku and Kairi’s attention do not stray from her hands. 

Finally, her hands find what she’s looking for; A small kraft box, decorated with tiny shells picked up from the beachside. On the side, a crude drawing of Sora, Riku, and Kairi. Riku and Kairi gasp in recognition. 

Sora’s mother sits down in front of them, settling the box in her lap. Kairi’s eyes fill with wonder as Sora’s mother lifts the lid gently, revealing inside an old and worn string of hemp and Kairi’s lucky charm nestling atop a bed of sea shells. 

Kairi can hear the fond sadness in Sora’s mother’s voice as she says: “I’d been meaning to call up your parents and ask for you to come over, but with the kids visiting so often I keep forgetting.” She lifts the string hand and the charm in the other, passing them to Riku and Kairi respectively. “I’m sure you two recognize these.” 

Kairi doesn’t recognize the string, and she does her best to pay no mind - After all, there’s something sweet in just knowing that Sora had kept something of hers, something that she only shared with him, in what is clearly a box special for just herself and Riku. Something about it eases an emptiness in her heart. 

“Thank you,” Kairi says. She smiles, and says it again in the native tongue. Sora’s mother beams. 

When she looks towards Riku, he’s busy wrapping the string around his wrist. He looks up, smiles softly at Sora’s mother, and for his thanks he takes one of her hands and bows to press his forehead to the back of her hand. 

Later on, on the intersection before they split in different directions, Riku takes Kairi’s hand in his. She looks at him.

“You were wondering, right? About the string,” he says, his other hand coming up to scratch the back of his neck. “It’s from Sora and I’s first pair of wooden swords. When we got new ones we took off the string that wrapped around the handles and traded. Mine’s at home.” 

Kairi blinks at him. Riku clears his throat and looks away with a curt nod, already turning towards the direction of his house. His hand begins to let go of hers, but she stops him - She holds him tightly. 

“Thank you.” she tells him. 

He smiles. “I just, you know. Didn’t want you to feel left out and guess what it was.” 

Kairi blushes a bright red. Riku doesn’t laugh; instead, he steps closer and pulls her into a hug. 

“It’s going to be the three of us again, I promise,” he tells her. Kairi bites her lip, but doesn’t say anything; just wraps her arms around him and sighs. “You won’t have to wait long, this time. I promise.” 

—

The seashell charm sits on Kairi’s desk. 

It sits like it waits for her, which is an odd feeling. Kairi can’t remember the last time someone or something has ever waited for her; It’s always, always been her waiting for someone. So it is a strange position to be in, this. Kairi isn’t quite sure what to do. 

Naminé seems to be asleep, still. A quick look at the clock hanging by their door tells Kairi that they’ve both still got an hour before they’re meant to get ready for their first semester. Kairi sighs, settles into her covers, and thinks.

Ten minutes later, she goes to her desk and decides to attach her charm to her backpack. A part of her wonders if she should feel like Sora is with her. She wonders, briefly, if Sora felt like she was with him whenever he held the charm close. 

An hour later, Naminé stirs awake, pulling her comforter around her as she comes up behind Kairi and pulls her into the warmth of the blanket. 

“What are you up to?” The blond asks sleepily. 

“Packing up my bag for class today. Are we still on for lunch later?” 

“Duh.” Naminé yawns. “What are you wearing today?” 

“Pink hoodie, black shorts.” 

“The sleeveless hoodie?” 

“Mm.” Kairi zips up her bag and to the side where Naminé is resting her chin on Kairi’s shoulder. “You?” 

“I think I’m going to match with you.” Naminé shifts a bit once she notices the charm on Kairi’s backpack. “Is that…?”

Kairi nods. “Sora’s mother had it. She gave it to me. I didn’t know what to do with it so I thought I’d just keep it with me for the meantime.” 

Naminé nods slowly. She nuzzles her head against Kairi’s. “First day today. What’s your nine a.m.?” 

Kairi has English 101, and later on that day, she’s taking Women in Literature, an elective she’s been looking forward to. Naminé tells her she’s taking a basic coding class, but that she wants to try and test out of it. 

Kairi is driving them across the bridge to the next island thirty minutes later when Naminé chimes for her attention; Her voice is bright and oddly mischievous when she speaks. She says to Kairi, her hand placed gently on Kairi’s shoulder - “Let’s practice our magic.” 

It’s not a bad idea. Kairi knows its not. She thinks of the charm that’s hanging from her backpack. 

So despite the dull fear creeping out of the emptiness in her heart, she smiles, and says - “Yeah. Let’s do that.” 

— 

One evening becomes two, becomes every evening - They retake the youth taken away from them and sneak out every night after the sun dips over the horizon and the moon takes ownership of the night sky. 

Sometimes they spar; Most of the time, they sit across each other on the stretch of rocks from the main island’s beach, the same place that sometimes serves as Kairi’s solace. On these nights, it becomes a place to walk through memories, to call for light, to practice summoning ice and warmth. 

It helps. It helps a lot; It helps soothe Kairi’s bitterness and anger at a title she never asked for. It helps Naminé strengthen her bond to hearts; Her own strange, complicated connection to the darkness. The Princess and the Witch, together, figure out their own roles in these strange series of events, and try with all their might to find peace with it. 

Kairi still cannot find it in herself to claim her title; She cannot name herself as Naminé names herself the Witch. Sometimes she envies her sister’s confidence; Most times, she hopes one day she could feel the same about herself. 

“Hey,” Kairi hums. “You talk to Xion a lot. Does she say anything about me?” 

Naminé nods, shrugging. “She asks how you’re doing all the time. I think she’s just concerned.” 

“About?” 

“Well, you. The same things about you that I worry about.” Naminé takes Kairi’s hands in hers. “But you’re doing better. You’re letting go. You’re putting one foot in front of the other.” 

Not for the first time, Kairi finds herself envious of Naminé’s confidence. She smiles, squeezing her sister’s hands.

Naminé grins brilliantly, the moonlight dancing around her as she makes a silent summon of Blizzard and blows star-shaped snowflakes towards Kairi’s face; Bewildered and surprised, the redhead laughs, and barely registers the glow of her hands - light warming the sisters’ intertwined fingers. 

—

The first semester flies by quickly and the two barely struggle with finals when they come. Winter break comes, and they take the time to take the new interworld transit to visit Xion and Roxas in Twilight Town. 

Despite its name, Twilight Town is a large and lively city with several boroughs. Winter brings with it strings of multicolored lights streaming from one building to the next; Blankets of snow cover the streets and the melted slush gives the children icy puddles to jump in - much to the simultaneous dismay and amusement of nearby adults. 

“Oh!” Xion snaps her fingers. She looks at Roxas, who’s sitting beside her on the ledge he, Xion, Naminé, and Kairi have taken for theirs. “You know what, we should go to one of the hills outside the town, go snowboarding.” 

Roxas shrugs, his brows rising in contemplation of the idea.

“So long as you guys don’t mind humoring us on the bunny hill.” Naminé hums sheepishly. Xion immediately turns, ready to reassure her. 

Kairi rolls her eyes and leans her hands on the ledge. She’d ask where Axel is (and she wants to; she’s very curious), but she knows that if he’s not with Roxas and Xion that he’s likely where Isa is. And Isa isn’t exactly a popular topic for the two at the moment - They’re fine, for the most part, but there’s a reason Roxas and Xion have a place of their own. It’s better for all four of them if there’s space between Isa and the siblings. 

(Space is good, Kairi thinks. She wonders how Riku is doing; His test is coming up soon.)

“Actually, you know what,” Roxas says, clicking his tongue. “I can’t believe I forgot. The winter carnival is in town and it starts tonight.” 

That, at least, is something the four young adults can agree on going to - Xion and Roxas get on their phones to invite the Twilight Town trio. Pence and Olette immediately reply that they’re definitely coming along. Hayner tells them they’ll just have to settle for visiting him at one of the carnival booths. 

They all meet up outside Le Grand Bistrot and go from there - Pence and Roxas walking close, shoulders brushing. Naminé hooks her arm around Xion’s and the smile that spreads across Xion’s face competes against the lights strung around the city. Olette keeps her hands shoved in her pockets while she walks beside Kairi. 

They’re walking down an aisle of booths; Rigged carnival games flanking them both. The lights are vibrant above them, coloring both girls with pinks and oranges. Kairi is awkward, her hands held tightly together and her fingers fumbling. The other two pairs have gone up further ahead. 

They look at each other. 

“Do you like those weird teacup rides?” Olette asks her, head cocked and smile just a touch nervous. 

Kairi snorts. Oh, screw it. 

“I do.” 

—

“And, like, I didn’t even realize I wasn’t attracted to guys at _all_ until after I realized Sora might actually have liked me back,” Kairi laughs, her hand pressed to her forehead and pushing some of her hair back. “I panicked. I must have been a freshman in highschool. Like, sure we made kissy faces at each other all the time, and I love him, I really do, but - “

“You just couldn’t see it?” Olette asks, leaning her elbow on the arm rest of the usual hideout’s couch. 

Kairi covers her face with her hands, shaking her head. She peeks through her fingers at Olette, and she can see Olette’s clear amusement. “I tried imagining myself with Riku, too, and then I tried imagining myself with _any_ of the guys from school, and I thought. Oh god, no. Not me.” 

“And what happened with you and Sora?” 

Kairi snorts, throwing her head back. “Oh, Heart. We tried to kiss each other - We were sophomores, okay, so we were being stupid and were thinking kissing is the only way to figure it out. We never kissed - We both wimped out the second we said ‘okay.’ Then he realized he was in love with Riku, and I tried dating Selphie, and now here I am.” 

Olette leans her head to the side. “Yeah, here you are.” 

They look at each other; blush. Olette clears her throat and looks away for a second, scratching her cheek. 

“Is this a date?” She asks. 

Kairi purses her lips. “I wouldn’t mind if it was,” she says. She tucks her hair behind her ear. “But is it okay if it’s not?” 

Olette’s smile is a fresh sort of kindness Kairi has been needing for some time. “Hey, I’m alright with that, too.” 

—

According to Kairi’s phone, it’s close to one in the morning when Kairi and Olette both leave the usual hideout. They hug, kiss each other’s cheek, and Kairi resolves to go out for a walk on her own before finding her way back to Xion and Roxas’ apartment. 

It’s a little bit to her surprise when she runs into Xion without Naminé; the other girl is standing outside the corner store, looking through the contents of a plastic bag. Kairi walks up to her, waving, and Xion grins as Kairi approaches. 

“We were wondering where you’d gone,” Xion tells her. She notices the brightness on Kairi’s face and can’t help but say - “You look like you had fun.” 

Kairi smiles. She shrugs and gestures to the bag. “What’s in there?” 

“Oh, snacks. Roxas and Naminé wanted ice cream. I got sea salt for you, by the way - Figured you’d be home soon, too.” 

“Well, I was thinking of heading back eventually. Thought I’d walk around the plaza a bit before I went back.” 

Xion nods. She hums. “Well, these aren’t going to melt any time soon. Could I walk with you a little bit?” 

Kairi blinks. “Me? Why?” 

“Because,” and at this point, Xion has a sheepish smile that looks almost apologetic, “my crush on Naminé means I keep forgetting to try and hang out with you, too?” 

The silence barely lasts a fraction of a second - Kairi starts laughing and nods, throwing her arm around Xion and tugging her around the plaza. Xion lets her, leaning to the side to accommodate their difference in height. 

They talk - they chat. Kairi tells her what she’d been up to with Olette. Xion tells her about the ferris wheel ride she went on with Naminé, and that Kairi shouldn’t be surprised if Naminé has a few new stuffed toys to bring home to Destiny Islands. Kairi’s only reaction to that is to laugh, and her laugh is like the ringing of bells twinkling endlessly. 

Kairi doesn’t know, but Xion is happy to hear her laugh so freely; so needlessly. But what Kairi does know is that when she looks over her shoulder and meets Xion’s soft, caring expression, she’s reminded of the same way Sora would look at her. 

“Oh.” Kairi purses her lips. The emptiness makes itself known again. 

Xion shrugs. “I know. Mom sees him, too. Perks of being a replica, I guess.” They’re both quiet for a moment. “Let’s not mention it again?”

“Yeah,” Kairi nods. “Yeah, of course.” 

Xion pulls her into a tight hug; It’s fine. “By the way, um. While Sora’s on both our minds, I’ve been wondering - How are you?” 

Kairi blinks. She thinks of her star charm on her backpack, waiting for her. “I’m okay, for the most part.” A pause. “I think. Not really. I feel like I’m just trying to keep moving.” 

Xion looks at her apologetically. Kairi shrugs. 

“Things are okay, kind of. Really.” 

“You’re sure?” Xion says. “You can talk to me, you know. If you want.” 

Kairi looks at her, examines her. Neither of them say anything, but Xion knows; Kairi will definitely consider it. They go home. 

—

The next day, they decide to do something a little different; Something a little bit old and new at the same time. 

It’s Roxas’ idea, but Xion’s much more enthusiastic about it. The two of them lead Naminé and Kairi deep into the underground railways - One of the old skate spots, Roxas tells them, with a strange sort of affection that really could only come from Roxas. The space itself is wide and empty save for some old wooden boxes. Dividing it in the center are two subway tracks that sometimes rattle to warn them of subways passing by. 

Roxas takes a look behind them as they exit the tunnel leading into the space, and with a grin and a flick of both his wrists, light snaps from his hands and Oathkeeper and Oblivion appear. Xion rolls her eyes, but summons her own keyblade with a swing of her arm - Kairi and Naminé both gasp upon seeing it. 

Last they’d seen Xion with a keyblade, she had been borrowing Oblivion. But the keyblade now in her hand - its metal a gradient reminiscent of the sunset, a handle with an ornate clock face embedded into it - is new. 

“Oh, this one is nice,” Naminé says, clearly impressed. “What’s her name?” 

Behind her, Roxas rolls his eyes. Xion grins. “Seconds to Sunset.”

Kairi snorts. “Sounds like a pop punk band. A little inspired, Xion?” 

That earns her a laugh from Roxas, who walks by her and offers her Oathkeeper. “Here,” he tells her. “If you want it.” 

Kairi stares at the keyblade, then stares at Roxas. She’d say yes, and a part of her wants to, but she smiles tightly and shakes her head. She points her thumb behind her, towards Naminé, and goes - “Nah. Naminé and I can take you guys on without keyblades.” 

Naminé comes up to place her arm around Kairi’s shoulders. She’s grinning brilliantly when she says, “Yeah, we can,” and Kairi, once again, cannot help but feel jealous of other people’s confidence. She leans into Naminé’s one-armed embrace, crossing her own arms and trying to fake some semblance of confidence. 

Roxas smirks, stepping away with his hands raised as though in defeat. His keyblades twinkle away as he walks away. “Alright, then. Best two out of three, just to be fair,” he says, going to stand beside Xion as she spins Seconds to Sunset in her own, confident flourish. 

Roxas brings his arms down and light snaps from his hands again, summoning Oathkeeper and Oblivion. He takes his stance as Xion takes hers, and together they are clearly a force to be reckoned with. 

That’s fine. That is fine - because so are Naminé and Kairi. 

Naminé’s lightless magic is the kind that is not seen but rather felt; She stands poised, manicured fingers curling into fists, and the icy energy that leaves her hands grows and fills the space; It cools, making visible mist out of everyone’s breaths. 

Kairi glows. The pearl she keeps around her neck glows a pretty, pinkish shine, and it takes one breath for it to grow into a blinding light - This is several months’ worth of quiet, midnight conversations with Naminé. This is the culmination of evening working towards coming to peace with a title she did not ask for. 

Kairi’s hands warm; her chest burns. 

The tracks that divide the room rattle; A subway’s horn echoes through the tunnel. 

Kairi looks beside her, sees Naminé’s confidence. Her sister turns towards her with a kind smile. Kairi looks back across the room.

The subway cars blur through the room, dividing the two pairs. Their breaths are all held, their magic surrounding them; waiting, waiting, waiting. One breath held through all of a few seconds, like time is frozen around them all, nothing moving except the loud, metallic rattling of Twilight Town’s public transit roaring down the tracks. 

The last car rattles through. 

Oblivion and Oathkeeper create sparks behind Roxas; He holds nothing back, throwing all of his might into the swinging of his keyblades. Naminé raises barrier after barrier, ice meeting metal, cold shards flying around. 

Xion flies towards Kairi, swinging Seconds to Sunset down - Kairi jumps backwards, feet landing on the wall, and she launches herself towards the other, fists raised and glowing with a fiery burn. Her bare fists meet metal. Kairi can’t help the grin on her face when Xion stares at her; shocked. 

Xion jumps back, and so does Roxas, who has tired himself out smashing barriers of ice. Naminé runs beside Kairi, one step behind her. They all retake their stances. 

Roxas calls for Fira the second Blizarra leaves Naminé’s lips; The opposing elements fill the room with steam. Kairi feels Naminé’s hand wrap around her wrist, and she’s being pulled into a dark corridor for a moment before reappearing behind Roxas and Xion. 

They turn. Kairi blinds them. Naminé traps them both in cases of ice. 

“Still down for best two out of three?” Naminé says; coy.

In the end, Roxas and Xion have to split the cost of ice cream for Naminé and Kairi. 

—

Winter break comes to an end, announcing the end of the second year without Sora in their lives. Kairi only realizes this because she notices the charm while packing up her bag at Roxas and Xion’s apartment. 

She holds the charm in her hand, her thumb grazing over the grooves of the seashells as she examines it. There’s a strange emptiness, still, when she thinks about it. She thinks that maybe she’d never outgrow the loss of a dear friend. She thinks that it doesn’t seem like something that will ever go away. 

Roxas is out with Pence; Naminé ran off to find trinkets to bring back home to their mothers. It’s just her and Xion, right now. 

“Xion,” Kairi says, just as the girl walks into the living room. “Could I talk to you? About something?” 

Xion cocks her head. She’s quiet for a moment, then she says: “About Sora?”

Kind of, Kairi thinks. She purses her lips. “I think?” 

Xion considers her carefully, then she nods and sits down on the couch. Kairi sits across from her. “Shoot.” 

Kairi closes her eyes and counts to ten. When she opens them again, she says: “I feel like I have a hole in my heart.” A hole shaped just like Sora. 

Xion blinks, surprised. Then her eyes soften, like she understands completely, and Kairi kind of hopes that she does. She leans back into the cushion of her couch, crossing her arms as she thinks. 

“I’m going to tell you something I’ve been thinking for a while.” 

Kairi nods.

“I see Riku a lot. I’ve been considering taking on Mastery, so I’ve been visiting Departure a lot lately,” she says. “He hasn’t been handling any of this well, not like you have been. He looks better, sure, but he’s putting all of his heart into trying to bring Sora back. And none of us can do anything because you can’t change a heart that’s been decided.” 

Kairi isn’t surprised by this, but she does feel bad. 

“You don’t have that same luxury.” 

“What do you mean?” 

“It’s just like you told me - You feel like you have a hole in your heart. One shaped like my brother.” Xion looks at the bag sitting by Kairi’s feet; at the charm hanging from it. “You can’t throw all of your heart into something if it’s not complete to begin with. Something happened to you when Sora brought you back, maybe even before then - and it’s something that’s very difficult to heal from.” 

Kairi stares at her. Xion scratches her cheek.

“I don’t know what happened to you, Kairi. I’m not going to pretend I do. But something happened to you, something you might not remember, but I think it stole a piece of your heart and the emptiness you feel right now isn’t just grief.”

Well. Kairi supposes Xion would know what someone with an incomplete heart would look like. 

“When I was still with the real Organization, they tasked a lot of us with finding the new Princesses of Heart. I was the one sent to keep tabs on you. I know that something happened, that all of you died and you and Sora did something to bring everyone back. Xehanort used your heart to summon Kingdom Hearts - But I have this feeling that he did it twice.” 

“You keep saying ‘I think,’” Kairi says slowly. “You’re not sure?” 

“I don’t - I don’t know everything about hearts, I just. I saw you when you came back after Sora sacrificed himself. You were shaking, you were confused, and your hurt was so strong and it was the kind of confusion I _knew_ because I was - I was like that.” Xion gestures tiredly, running her hand through her hair and sighing heavily. “My heart was incomplete the first time around.” 

Kairi stops. 

“I know, okay? I know what it’s like having an emptiness so unbearable and wide that it feels like nothing will ever complete it, and I know that has to be what you’re feeling right now. What you’ve been feeling for the past two years. Something happened to you, something you can’t remember, and you don’t know what to do to make it go away.” 

Kairi feels tears in her eyes. 

“It won’t go away. You will live with it. But, Heart above, Kairi,” Xion is crying, too. “Something will grow in the emptiness, I can promise you that, at least. I just, I’m - “ 

Xion takes a deep breath and finds her composure. “The part of me that is Sora is so largely defined by you. I’m not him, you know I’m not him, but I’m sure that the concern and sorrow I have for you is something he would share. It’s not the same, I know, but I want to be sure you can be okay, and I want to help you figure out what being okay is.” 

Kairi squeezes her eyes shut. She counts to ten, and another, and another. Okay. 

—

Naminé doesn’t ask her what’s wrong when they’re both back home in Destiny Islands; Instead, Kairi asks to show her. They’re quiet together. Naminé combs Kairi’s hair with her fingers as her sister weeps in her lap, fearful and worried. 

“I need you to do something for me,” Kairi says, her whisper loud in the silence of their room. “I need you to try and find out what happened to me.” 

“Kairi, if I find nothing, then something really did happen to you.”

Kairi sits up, staring into Naminé’s eyes. The fire in her eyes could break hearts. 

“I know.” 

Kairi breathes deeply. Naminé waits. 

“No one knows hearts better than you. I need to know if my heart is incomplete, and you’re the only person I can trust to find out.” 

Naminé’s nod is slow and careful. She purses her lips, nods again. Okay. “Okay. Give me your hands.” 

Naminé is even more careful this time around. It’s almost surgical, the way she picks through ahd shuffles through Kairi’s memories. Kairi can feel her in every heartbeat, every breath she can remember, feel Naminé’s presence in the back of her head - She’s so used to this now, feeling her sister in her headspace, letting her sift through her life and share hearts. 

In one memory, Naminé is a cool wind on her skin; goosebumps rising in reaction. In another memory, Naminé is the warmth of Destiny’s Embrace in her palm, the gentle twinkling of the keychain as she swings the amber metal. 

In one memory, Naminé is the sudden coldness that envelops Kairi as she’s taken by the Demon Tower; The hungry claws of infinite Heartless, the overwhelming Darkness that kidnaps her. The suffocation of being pulled under, away, gone. 

Gone. 

And it ends there, the memory of the Demon Tower taking her away to Xehanort. The next memory she has, she’s beside Sora, the Guardians getting ready to face Xehanort a second time; a proper time. 

“They don’t connect,” Naminé says slowly. She lets go of Kairi’s hands, shaking. “They don’t connect. Kairi, the memories don’t connect.” 

Kairi can’t understand why Naminé is terrified. Maybe she doesn’t want to. She feels numb all over.

“Kairi?” 

Count one to ten. Slowly, remember each number; Remember what comes after, what comes before. Count to ten, count from ten. Do it again. Once more. 

Kairi stares at the charm on her backpack, hanging on the door of the room.

“Kairi, what are you going to do?” 

Kairi’s lips form a thin line. She frowns. 

She could spend her whole life trying to find out what happened to her. She could spend her whole life wondering what happened to her. Or - Or she could leave it behind her. 

“I don’t have to know,” she says, looking at Naminé’s eyes. One to ten. “Sora is gone. Memories have been taken away from me. But my whole life cannot be defined by my being a victim of destiny. I don’t have to know what happened. I don’t want to know what happened.” 

Naminé purses her lips, but she doesn’t say anything. 

“I’m done with this bullshit,” she continues. “I have a life. I have a future that’s going to replace the memory stolen from me. Something will grow in the emptiness.” 

—

Two days later, Xion brings Kairi to the Graveyard. Riku meets them there; Kairi had asked for him to come. She needs him to witness this.

Kairi holds her charm tightly in her hand. 

Xion and Riku stay two steps behind Kairi as Kairi approaches the center of the Graveyard; Old, ancient keyblades surround them on the barren land. The wind howls a quiet grief. Kairi stops just before the Braveheart and Destiny’s Embrace - Between the two keyblades, the Kingdom Key. Lifeless and dull, the old metal missing the heart that made it strong. 

Kairi leaves the charm with the key. She says goodbye. She says she’s done waiting. She turns around and meets Riku’s eyes.

Her voice is lost in the wind, but the Graveyard will remember: “I’m moving on.” 


	4. iv.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took a while! I'll be responding to comments from the previous chapter now :~)

“We should talk about this,” he tells her, his hand tugging helplessly at Kairi’s wrist. “Kairi, you don’t know if he’s really gone - “ 

Count to ten, make it to four. 

“You don’t even know if he’s still  _ alive,  _ Riku!” The light inside her chest hurts; Burning, hot. It sends tears to her eyes. “It’s been nearly two years since he disappeared. I can’t…” 

She turns away from him, her hand released from Riku’s weak, desperate hold. Kairi’s eyes fall on the three keyblades driven into the dry earth of the Graveyard, her star-shaped charm left hanging on Sora’s Kingdom Key. 

“What if you’re wrong, Riku?” She says, her voice tired. “I don’t know if he’s still alive, somewhere. I want to believe he is, too, but what if this time he really won’t come back?” 

“He will. I’m bringing him back. I’m going to find a way to bring him back.” 

Circles - They’re talking in circles. It’s the same thing over and over again. The Graveyard wind whistles a sad tune. Kairi runs her hands through her hair, her sigh frustrated. Riku remains quiet; Kairi can feel his fingers graze her wrist, again. She doesn’t flinch. 

There should be a guide to this; to grief. 

“There’s no one else,” Riku says, his voice weaker than Kairi has ever heard it. “There’s no one else who believes he can come back. It’s just me left.”

Kairi turns around and stares at Riku, whose tears trail down his cheeks in streams. For the first time, Kairi can see how much Sora’s disappearance has affected him - His shoulders fall like they’ve been held up for too long. This pillar of a man, who has walked through Darkness and come out immune, whose exhaustion always became a reason to be stronger - Kairi feels her heart breaking, seeing the boy she had grown up with be so devastated. 

But -- 

She counts to ten, she pulls Riku towards her. He falls into her arms like he’s fallen for the first time. Brick and mortar come crumbling down; a pillar breaks from the bottom up. 

“I love you,” she tells him. “I love you so much, Riku, but please don’t ask me to wait. I can’t do it again, and I refuse to.” 

He doesn’t stop crying; More tears fall and leave stains in Kairi’s shirt. She holds him; embraces him. This is the only kindness she can give him - His heart is breaking and Kairi can feel it against her own shattered heart. Light against tamed Darkness, once-quiet whispers of sorrow now louder than they have ever been. 

Kairi hardens what is left of her heart and allows Riku to lean on her, to need her, to cry on her. She allows him this in this moment, because she’s not sure if she can give him more.

—

Xion is tending to a fire in the camp she’s set up for the three of them, far from the Graveyard, atop a lonely hilltop away from where the battle of years ago had taken place. The sky above has dipped into night, the light of worlds far away twinkling. 

“Hey,” she says as Kairi and Riku approach. Xion tries to smile at them. “I had some sandwiches packed up for you guys. There’s a bedroll for each of us, too. It’s a little late to travel back home.” She doesn’t say,  _ I thought you guys might need to rest. _

Kairi looks at her thankfully while Riku nods and mumbles his thanks. He takes his dinner and sits at the edge of the camp. Kairi and Xion both watch him, their eyes filled with worry and concern. 

“Do you think Sora’s gone?” Kairi asks Xion, though she does not stop looking at Riku. 

Xion shifts, resting her chin on her hand as she thinks. “Yeah.” She doesn’t say more than that. Kairi doesn’t press on. 

No one has an easy conclusion about Sora’s disappearance, after all. It’s easy to think: Sora gave his life to save Kairi. But there’s too much that’s happened in all of their lives for all of them to think such an exchange is the end of it, that there can’t be more happening that none of them knows. Kingdom Hearts is a force that exists with its own secrets, and it does not like to share all of them. 

“Thank you for bringing me here,” Kairi says instead, looking back at Xion. “I really do appreciate it.” 

“Aw,” Xion smiles. She rubs her nose. “It’s no problem, Kairi. It’s been difficult for all of us, but I can’t imagine what it’s like for you and Riku. At least mom has me, Rox, and Ven.” 

They’re quiet for a little bit. Kairi gets started on her dinner. 

“How’s training coming along for you? You’re trying for Mastery, right?” 

Xion blinks. “Oh, yeah! It’s going great, actually. I’m kind of going at it slowly since I don’t want to move to Departure, so it’ll be awhile before Aqua lets me take my test, but that’s fine with me. I’ve got time.” 

Kairi smiles at that. “Don’t you get tired, though? Having to go between Departure and Twilight Town so often?” 

“It’s worth it. I love Departure, but I don’t want to compromise what home means to me.” Xion shrugs. 

Kairi finishes her dinner. They go to sleep.

Xion brings Kairi home. Riku goes back to Departure. Another year passes. 

—

“Heads up!” 

Fair warning, but Kairi reacts too late - The thump of a soccer ball hits her head hard and she’s stumbling forward, her hand rubbing the sore spot. Namine is quick to ask her if she needs a weak Cure spell to soothe the pain. Kairi gives her a dry look. 

The two of them turn around. Their university’s womens’ soccer team is walking over, a few of them looking particularly sheepish. 

“You okay?” One of them says. Kairi makes good note of her messily dyed pink hair. 

“Yeah. Just fine. Aim for the goal next time.” She says.

“Uh, yeah. Will do.” She tilts her head, tries for an amused smile. “Nagisa.”

They’re kind of staring at each other. Namine clears her throat. The rest of the soccer team tugs Nagisa away. Kairi blinks. 

“You’re ridiculous,” Namine tells her, pulling her along towards their building. 

“What do you mean?”

“Don’t worry about it.” 

—

Riku texts her sometimes. Other times, Kairi texts him. On a few rare occasions, when neither of them are busy with responsibilities or their respective studies, Riku makes the trip to visit her at Destiny Islands, on their islet. The trip from Departure is nice, he tells her sometimes. When he moves to Mickey’s Kingdom, Kairi asks him if it the trip from there is any different. Riku only tells her it’s much the same, but the stars change. 

Kairi wouldn’t really know; She doesn’t go off-world too much, not unless it’s important or she wants to visit Axel and Roxas and Xion at Twilight Town. And even then, she only uses the interworld transit system, which only connects a few worlds at the moment. It’s restricted, unlike the freedom of having a glider. 

They don’t talk much about anything else; Kairi gets the sense that they’re doing the same thing; the same dance. Steps in tandem with each other, both of them avoiding talking about the same person. 

She’s settling into bed when her phone buzzes a particular tune; a piano melody she’d once heard Riku play when they were still living at the Mysterious Tower. 

_ Hey.  _ says the text. Kairi picks up her phone. 

_ Hi you,  _ she sends in reply. She watches the typing animation pop up at the bottom of the screen. 

It disappears. Reappears.

_ Are we cool? _

Kairi blinks at the text. It’s not often that he types like this. It’s not often his pensiveness comes across so clearly over instant messaging. 

She taps in her reply -  _ Why wouldn’t we be? Is this about what happened at the Graveyard? _

It takes him a while to text back, so it’s a definite yes. The typing animation pops in and out; Riku’s anxiety travels from his screen to hers. Finally:  _ I wasn’t trying to understand, before. _

Kairi purses her lips. Her thumb taps the side of her phone, thinking, thinking, thinking. She’s not sure how to reply. Riku sends another text.

_ But I’m trying to, now.  _

Kairi frowns. She leans into her pillows, holding the phone to her chest, turning his words over in her head. Happy isn’t exactly what she feels right now, but there’s something like light, like dawn, breaking in her chest and bringing forth something new. 

Still, she can’t help but worry over Riku. Sometimes she wishes he wouldn’t be the kind of man who holds on to something for years; To contemplate over things he’s said and done for months and months on end. He holds on to his guilt like a man hanging on to a cliff. 

_ You’re a man of action, Riks, _ she tells him, trying to lighten the mood.  _ Not a man of words.  _

_ Very funny.  _ Kairi thinks he’s got a frown on, right now. He normally doesn’t like being teased when he’s being serious like this. Kairi knows, though, that in this particular conversation, he’d probably appreciate it.  _ I mean it, though.  _

_ I know you do. I trust you.  _ She chuckles.  _ I know how you get when you can’t stop thinking about something. All or nothing, right? _

_ I just want you to know I’m trying. _

_ I know. I appreciate it.  _ A sigh; heavy.  _ Thank you for trying to understand. _

Kairi imagines his expression, his hands holding his phone tightly. Somewhere, in a room inside Mickey’s Castle, Riku is sitting at a window sill, his face colored lightly by the screen of his phone. Maybe there’s a smile; Just like the ones he would give her and Sora when it was just the three of them against the world. When they were young and everything was easy. 

_ I love you, Kairi.  _

—

Nagisa becomes something of a recurring character in Kairi’s school life. Kairi realizes this after the sixth time she notices her in the corner of her vision. Nagisa’s hair is still a faded pink, but it’s dyed evenly now and combed back. Straying wisps of hair fall over her face. Kairi tucks her own hair behind her ear, not really thinking about it. 

Their eyes meet. Nagisa’s grin is a little lopsided. Kairi scoffs at her, smiling. She’d walk over, but Namine comes up beside her and is tugging on her sleeve, saying something about wanting to grab paopu fruit shakes on the way home. 

“Oh,” Namine hums. She stops tugging and waves at Nagisa, grinning brightly. “You know she still doesn’t know your name, right?” 

Kairi shrugs. “Yeah. Let’s get our paopu shakes.” 

When Kairi looks over her shoulder as they walk out of the university, Nagisa has an amused expression on her face. 

The next time they see each other, it’s the second semester of Kairi’s sophomore year in college, and Nagisa’s in the same history elective Kairi had been looking forward to for a while. (When Namine finds out Nagisa’s in the class, her jokes about how Kairi has several reasons to look forward to it are relentless and constant.) 

Kairi’s name is called for attendance, and she’s just a little amused when Nagisa takes the seat beside her, saying -

“So, Kairi, is it?” 

“You know, you could have just asked for my name.” 

“Well,” Nagisa shrugs. “I could always ask you other things.” 

Kairi raises a brow. “Like?” 

“Like - do you have a pen I could borrow?” 

Nagisa’s smile is lopsided. Kairi blinks at her. They both laugh after a moment, Kairi nodding and digging into her bag to lend the other one of her pens. She doesn’t even care if she doesn’t get it back; In fact, she insists Nagisa keep it. 

—

Here’s the thing: Kairi loves Namine. She’s pretty much the sister she’s always wanted. They get along, they share a lot of interests, and they both fundamentally understand how screwed up Kingdom Hearts is. But for all the love Kairi has for Namine, she cannot deal with the fact her sister loves waking up the second the sun rises. 

“No, really, I think it’s a great idea to go visit Departure for spring break. Think of all the cool things you could find in the library there!” 

Namine’s gotten really good at dodging the pillows and stuffed toys Kairi throws her way, too. 

“Namine, I don’t care about how great of an idea it is. It’s like - “ She looks at the clock on her nightstand, groans. “It’s not even eight yet. I’d go follow you into the Final World if you asked me to, just let me sleep.” 

“ - And we could go take pictures at the cliff sides, I’d bring my sketchbook with me and you could bring your books with you.” 

“One of these days, Namine, I’m going to go into hiding and get the sleep I need, and you won’t be there to wake me up, and it would be such a great time - “

“But  _ Kairi, _ ” Namine grins. She hops on Kairi’s bed, folding her legs beneath her. “You can’t do that. You know I’d be  _ nobody _ without you.” 

Namine doesn’t even bother trying to dodge the next pillow thrown her way. 

—

_ I’m visiting Departure with Namine for spring break. You feel like making the trip to hang out for a day or two? _

_ Can’t, but have fun.  _

_ Ok. Miss you.  _

_ I miss you, too. _

(drafted) _ I love you. _

—

“You’re busy all spring break?” 

Kairi smiles sheepishly. “Yeah, my sister insisted we visit some friends we haven’t seen in some time.” 

“Where to?”

Kairi considers that, for a moment. The interworld transit’s connected many worlds now, but there are some still kept secret. Departure, of course, being one of them. Kairi isn’t sure how to explain a world of floating mountaintops where keyblade wielders make their home. She’s not sure if she’s allowed to, even. 

“San Fransokyo,” she says, to be safe. “We have friends who live outside the city.”

Nagisa pouts, but gives Kairi an easygoing shrug. “There goes an afternoon of bribing you with paopu shakes just to hang out with me.” 

Kairi snorts. “As if I’d hang out with you outside of this classroom. At least I’m not at risk of you hitting my head because you can’t aim for shit.” 

Nagisa sucks air through her teeth, unable to disagree. Kairi rolls her eyes and shakes her head. 

“I’m sure you’re a fine player otherwise. I’m just a bad luck charm.” 

Nagisa stops. She turns to look at Kairi, brows furrowed and expression a touch concerned. “That’s a little mean to yourself,” she says, and Kairi doesn’t know how to respond to that. Nagisa seems to soften, though the concern doesn’t quite leave her eyes. She gives Kairi a friendly nudge on the shoulder, says: “Besides, if you were such a bad luck charm, I’d be struggling to have a pen to use in this class.” 

Kairi smiles. Their teacher walks in. Class begins. 

The two of them sit a little closer to each other.

—

The night before the day they start packing, Kairi has a dream. Or a dream of a memory. It’s hazy, strange, and distant - an epiphany just out of reach. 

When she startles up in the middle of the night, Namine fast asleep on the other side of the room and clock ticking away, Kairi only gets the faintest of details from her dream: Light summoned from her chest, the faintest beginning of Kingdom Hearts in the sky. 

She hasn’t had a nightmare about their battle against Ansem in a long time. And the more she thinks about it, the nightmare doesn’t seem like it recalled those events. 

Kairi takes a deep breath, stilling the worried thrumming of Light in her heart, and settles back into the covers. The rest of that evening, she dreams of a crumbling world being repaired. 

When she wakes up the next day, Namine’s looking at her strangely. 

“What’s up?”

“Do you remember much from when you pulled Sora from the Darkness?” 

—

Namine and Kairi wait for Axel at the beachfront, his gummiship hovering low and disturbing the water. The hangar door opens and Axel leans on the frame, his hair relaxed and pulled into a low, loose ponytail. Kairi can’t help but notice the dark roots of his hair, and she stifles a snicker. Roxas and Xion appear behind him, Isa hanging out just behind them.

“Well, get in then, we don’t have all day.” 

It’s a lengthy trip; Long enough that Kairi can’t help but wonder how it is Xion manages to fly between Departure and Twilight Town as often as she does. She thinks of their conversation a year ago, at the Graveyard, and watches as Xion chats excitedly about her training to Namine and knows this is what makes Xion happiest; Finding herself, letting herself grow into a person of her own identity. Someone totally independent of Sora.

Kairi settles into her seat and pulls out her phone to check her messages. There’s a few from Kingstagram, a couple e-mails from university. There’s one from Nagisa from just two minutes ago, telling her to have fun during break. Her phone buzzes again and delivers a pink heart emoji from Nagisa. Kairi smiles. 

Kairi looks beside her; Namine’s fallen asleep, her head resting on Xion’s shoulder. Xion’s focused on her own phone, scrolling down Kingstagram. Kairi keeps staring at Xion until Xion looks up at her, and when she does, Kairi raises a brow and smiles; sly. Xion flushes. 

Kairi opens her messaging app, typing without breaking eye contact. 

_ You really should just ask her out, you know. Like, on a proper date. She likes picnics. _

Xion looks down, flushes even harder.  _ I will! Eventually! _

_ Oh, sure. Her favorite food is blueberry pie, by the way. But I think you knew that. _

Kairi doesn’t get a response. She snorts and settles into her seat, readying herself to sleep the rest of the trip to Departure. 

—

Terra takes to Namine immediately; There’s a bond between them that Kairi only vaguely knows about. Something about the two of them having met somewhere in the Final World. Kairi isn’t too sure. Ventus is happy to see both of his siblings again, pulling them into tight hugs and chatting about the new students on Departure while he tries to smooth Roxas’ hair with his fingers. It’s a good scene; soft. Axel and Isa greet Aqua, and Kairi’s close enough to hear them but she tries not to listen in. The pair excuse themselves to unpack the gummiship.

Aqua turns her attention towards Kairi, smiling serenely. 

“Kairi. It’s been some time.” The master approaches Kairi, reaching out to take Kairi’s hands in hers. “Xion talks about you, tells me how well you’ve been doing.” 

Kairi doesn’t respond immediately; She’s a little struck. Aqua’s cropped her hair shorter, but that’s not what’s got Kairi’s attention. Aqua looks softer - Softer in the sense that she’s begun to lose the hardness and edge that came with her when she left the Realm of Darkness. 

“Kairi?” 

“Yeah!” Kairi says, blinking. “Yeah, I’ve been doing pretty well, yeah. School, you know.” 

Aqua looks at her kindly. “I’m glad you get to live a normal life, now, Kairi.” 

Kairi gets the feeling Aqua means more than what she’s saying. She thinks of hazy, vague memories in Radiant Garden, a charm placed on her pearl necklace. 

“Well,” Kairi says, smiling and shrugging. “Normal enough.” 

—

Riku does make it to Departure, in the end. Everyone’s surprised. 

He arrives late in the night, long after Kairi and the others have settled in and had dinner with the keyblade masters, so no one sees him until breakfast - He’s sitting in the dining hall, gray hoodie and black pants wrinkled on him. When he meets Kairi’s eyes, she can see he’s tired; awfully tired. But he smiles at her, and it’s such a genuinely  _ Riku _ kind of smile that Kairi can almost forgive how exhausted it looks. 

The others greet him and give him hugs - A few younger students come up to him with friendly nudges to his shoulder. Riku takes it all in kind, but there’s something terse in the air; An understanding of some kind. Kairi takes a seat beside Riku and leans on him. 

“I thought you said you couldn’t come?” She says. 

“Changed my mind,” Riku tells her. “And Goofy said it was alright if I took the week off.” 

“You’re here the whole week?” 

“Yeah,” he pauses. Then: “I wanted to spend time with you.”

Kairi grins, brilliant. “You’re so soft. Let’s get breakfast.” 

Breakfast on Departure is a communal affair - as well as lunch, dinner, and whatever other meals those living on the floating cliffs share. 

The dining hall reaches high, the stained glass windows barely matching in height. On days with good weather, the wide doors are kept open to allow others to use the training grounds outside to eat and chat idly. 

There’s a buffet table set up to the side; Baskets of fruit and bread spread across. Riku and Kairi wait their turn, both of them amused as they watch keyblade apprentices years their junior pile their plates high with various fruits. Kairi can’t help but wonder of Riku’s time here, an apprentice himself. But she knows him well enough to know that his shy demeanor meant he kept a so-called acceptable amount of food on his plate; never to excess. 

Riku seems to be able to tell what she’s thinking, red brushing along his cheeks when Kairi piles his plate with extra servings of cut fruits. She grins at him, coy. 

They take a seat outside, legs dangling off the cliff. It’s no islet - no ocean to admire, or tree to shake to annoy each other. There’s no taste of salt in the air, just the cool breeze of being so high up in the sky. 

Kairi leans on Riku’s shoulder. Riku leans on hers. 

“Kairi,” he says. “Would it be wrong to think of the future?” 

Kairi moves only to look at him and smile. “Never, Riku. It’s never wrong.” 

He manages a weak smile and nods. “I get knighted in a few months.”

“You know I’ll be there for the ceremony.” 

“I know. I’ll get us passes to Disney Town. It’ll be like - It’ll be fun.” His smile grows. “Thank you.”

Aqua approaches them, tapping on Riku’s shoulder and placing a gentle hand on Kairi’s. The two of them look up at the master, respectfully greeting her. She says - “Riku, I was hoping you’d do me the honor of a fight. I’ve been eager for a challenge again.” 

Kairi thinks that somewhere, Terra and Ventus feel justifiably offended. 

Riku smiles up at Aqua and nods. Kairi gathers hers and Riku’s plates and follows the pair towards the training grounds, where younger students are already clearing away to give the space to the masters. 

Kairi finds a seat beside Namine, hearing the tail-end of her conversation with Terra - “ — remember more of that world, there’s something I’m eager to find out.” 

Kairi can’t help her curiosity. “Find what out?” 

Namine and Terra look at her. Terra looks torn as to what to say, Namine doesn’t. Still, she says: “The Final World. I have some vague memories of it, I wanted to see if there were any texts about it.” 

The sisters stare at each other. Kairi takes a deep breath. Okay. 

Ventus raises his hand; Everyone turns their attention to the field.

Aqua is graceful as ever, poised and ready and every bit the Master of Departure. She takes her stance on her side of the field, icy blue light curling around her hand like water. Rainfell stretches from her grip in slow moving waves of light. Kairi, much like everyone else, is in awe. 

Across from Aqua, Riku takes his stance. Shoulders pulled back, left hand resting in front of him - He’s had the same stance since he was a child, and Kairi can’t help but feel nostalgia wave over her knowing Riku hasn’t grown out of it. 

He draws his right hand back, curling into a grip, and he draws his keyblade into manifestation. Mirage Split forms from the tip to the handle, its light cool and between teal and blue. Kairi watches Riku’s fingers curl tightly around the handle, watches how his hand falters, just a bit. 

Namine leans into Kairi’s space, whispering: “This is exciting.” 

Ventus brings his hand down between them, beginning the match. 

They don’t rush to each other. Aqua relaxes. She looks at Riku with a smile and cocks her head; taunting. Riku doesn’t fall for it. 

Aqua steps back and swings Rainfell, once, twice - She spins, twirls, waves of ice and cold wind slicing through the air towards Riku in waves and waves and waves. Kairi sneaks a glance beside her - Namine is enthralled; Aqua casts Blizzard like it’s second nature. 

Riku keeps his keyblade hot with Fire, swinging at the sharp winds coming his way. The steam from the contact of hot metal against cold ice fills the field slowly. Everyone watches carefully as Riku disappears from view; The steam curls around Aqua’s feet. She takes a deep breath, closes her eyes. 

The air shifts when she blurs into it; Metal hitting metal rings through the field. The steam colors blue, red, yellow - a new color every time they audience hears metal scraping against metal. A bright flash, dulled only by the slowly fading steam; Sharp, jagged lines of ice stretching out and spanning the field. 

Riku emerges, sliding backwards on the lines of ice. Mirage Split stays low beside him, his grip tighter than it had been earlier. Aqua appears, chasing him; her footwork matching his, her affinity for ice surpassing Riku’s own. It doesn’t take her long to catch up to him, both of them flying high into the air striking each other with their keyblades.

Aqua strikes Riku down; He falls fast, back hitting the ground. The impact shatters some of the ice around him. 

He recovers quickly, eyes flitting towards the ice; He swings his keyblade beside him, breaking more ice and sending them up - Aqua fights them off, Rainfell breaking them. Riku frowns. He rolls to his feet as Aqua begins to fall, Rainfell raised high above her head. 

The crowd watches with bated breath. Riku waits on his knee, still gripping Mirage Split tightly. Aqua swings down. 

Thundaga explodes where Riku is supposed to be; He blurs away as Aqua strikes down, the lightning hitting Rainfell. Aqua lets go of her keyblade in time but the explosion pushes her away, dust rising where she skids on the ground. A harsh gasp comes from the crowd. 

Rainfell disappears and reappears in Aqua’s hand. Riku appears behind her. He swings down. Aqua raises a barrier. 

“Call it,” Riku says.

“And let you win?” Aqua raises a brow. “That’d be too easy for you.” 

Aqua lets her barrier fall and strikes at Riku. Mirage Split and Rainfell lock at their hilts, their masters pushing against each other. 

“No magic.” Riku says, then, narrowing his eyes. 

“Fair enough.” 

They push off, retake their stances. Kairi counts to three, quiet and in her head, then the two fly towards each other. 

Riku keeps up a good fight; His stubbornness and determination makes up for the skill he lacks in comparison to Aqua. But Aqua has years under her hand, including a decade of fighting in the Realm of Darkness - 

He loses, in the end, Rainfell’s edge placed by his throat. He frowns, sighs, then laughs lightly while he wills Mirage Split away. 

“You still need to work on your barriers,” Aqua tells Riku as the two approach Kairi and the others. “Tell Goofy to help better your defense.” 

“Yeah,” he tells her, sheepish. Childlike, Kairi thinks. “Will do, Aqua.”

“You did great, Riku. Very befitting of a master like yourself,” Namine says when the two reach them. 

Riku smiles at her, nodding. 

Terra stands and passes by Aqua. Kairi think he says something to her because her expression shifts for a moment, but Kairi redirects her attention to Riku. He sits down beside her, pulling his hood over his head. 

“You looked pretty cool, you know.” She says to him. He scoffs in response, smiling. 

“Namine, Kairi, a little bird told me you two aren’t so bad at fighting yourselves, using just magic.” Aqua says. Kairi looks at her, flushing a bit, while Namine grins with pride. 

“That right?” Riku asks, brow raised. Kairi looks at him, not quite sure what to expect, but the genuine surprise he has isn’t that. She stammers. 

“Well, of course. My sister and I are a tough force together, right, Kairi?” Namine says. Kairi turns to her. 

She knows she’s not wrong; Even on their own, Kairi and Namine are strong fighters. Each of them wield magic that is their own. 

“Yeah,” Kairi says, trying not to sound forced. She knows this, and wants to sound like she believes it, too. “We are pretty tough, yeah.” 

Aqua’s smile is warm, her eyes softening. “I hope the two of you indulge me later on this week, then, while you’re still here for break.” She turns to Namine, then, both of them nodding at each other. “So, the library, then?” 

“Yes please,” Namine chirps. She stands up and waves at Kairi and Riku. “I’ll catch up with the two of you later, okay?” 

The two of them wave Namine off. Riku hums once she’s out of ear shot. “I thought you don’t fight anymore.” 

“I never said I was done fighting,” Kairi huffs. She stops herself from saying,  _ I just don’t want to wield a keyblade.  _ “I just want to fight on my own terms.”

Riku looks at her carefully. He still manages a tired smile. “You know, that’s kind of great to hear.” They smile at each other. “When I’m knighted, we should spar or something.”

“Why can’t we do something normal? Didn’t you say we were going to Disney Town?”

He snorts and ignores her plea. “Anyway. I’m pretty beat. I’m going to take a nap in my room or something.” 

“You do that, big guy.” 

He stands up. Kairi watches him. He starts to leave but stops, looking over his shoulder. “Hey,” he says, and Kairi quirks her head. “You know I, uh, care about you. Right?” 

Kairi grins. “Never doubted it for a second, Riku. Get some rest.”

He considers her. “Yeah. You too.”

“And Riku!”

“Yeah?”

She points finger-guns at him, winking. “For a  _ knight, _ the future looks pretty bright.” 

—

Namine is busy, still, with the library, which means Terra and Aqua are, too. Roxas and Ventus had run off a little earlier, challenging each other to various tricks on their gliders. The students on Departure are busy, too, enjoying their own break - Less drills, more reading, but reading assignments are something of an escape from being bruised constantly by the Departure trio of Masters’ varied skillsets. So, that leaves Xion for Kairi to spend time with. 

“So, why haven’t you two dated, yet?” 

Kairi pinches the bridge of her nose, a tired laugh escaping her. 

Xion gestures, waiting for her response. 

“I barely know her! I don’t want to start dating someone I barely know.” 

“I’m pretty sure the point of dating is to get to know someone better and develop what could be a relationship with them,” Xion insists. Kairi rolls her eyes. “Ergo, I think you should go on a date with Nagisa. She sounds cool!” 

Kairi gives her a blank stare. “You know, for someone who seems to know so much about dating, you don’t seem to be so keen on finally asking my sister out. It’s been, what, two, three years now?” 

That seems to silence Xion. Kairi snickers. 

“Fine. Point taken, I won’t bug you about Nagisa again. In other news, though,” Xion gestures out to the courtyard they’re standing in. “Fancy a ride on the glider?” 

Xion summons Seconds to Sunset, the amber metal shining under the bright sky. Kairi considers it, but she goes - “How about we stay on our feet, instead? Hike like normal people do.”

Seconds to Sunset dissipates into a flurry of warm lights. Xion grins and links her hands behind her head, leaning on one foot. “Well, then,” she says, “Lead the way, Kairi.” 

They make the trek across several bridges connecting one floating mountain too to another - Kairi takes the time to lean over the rails, wind whipping her hair while she gazes at the endless stretch beneath them. On the lower floating mountaintops, she tries her best to listen - she thinks she hears the sound of water crashing against rock or stone, but with the dense fog beneath them, she can’t tell. 

“Do you go out this far, sometimes?” Kairi asks Xion, who’s busy admiring the area around them. She spies a lone apple tree and picks an apple for each of them. 

“Not really. Furthest I’ve gone was that third mountain top.” 

“The one with the vineyard?” 

“The very one,” Xion grins, tossing the apple Kairi’s way. She catches it easily with one hand. “I don’t really have the time to explore when I’m here. Training, you know. Twilight Town, though, that’s a different story.” 

“Naturally.” 

Xion nods sagely. “Naturally.” 

“Aren’t you a little curious, though?” Kairi continues. The two of them continue their walk. “You and Namine came to be in Castle Oblivion. Story goes that this whole place used to be Castle Oblivion before it was restored.” 

Xion hums. “Well, the thing is, where you’re born sometimes doesn’t end up being your home, right?” They look at each other. “Isn’t the story that you were born in Radiant Garden?” 

Kairi blinks at her. She has a point. 

“Home is where the heart is, and all that.” Xion says, a little quieter. Kairi thinks of Riku and his waywardness. When Kairi turns her head to look at Xion, Xion is already looking at her carefully. 

“What?”

Xion smiles. “I don’t, y’know, sense hearts or lightness really strongly like you and Namine do, but. There’s something about you, Kairi. You seem a lot happier. It just makes me happy to see, you know?” 

Kairi smiles weakly. “Thanks. That means a lot.” It does. “I trusted what you said, you know. About something growing in the spaces. I still do.” 

A blush creeps across Xion’s face, and she laughs sheepishly. “It’s kind of cheesy, thinking back on what I said. But I’m glad anyway. You deserve to be happy, you know?”

“Be careful, I’m going to start thinking you’re flirting with me.” 

Xion laughs, hard. “Maybe I just have a type for girls who get mistreated by forces beyond everyone’s comprehension.” 

Kairi snorts, rolling her eyes. “That doesn’t sound like a very good type. Sounds a little pitying, actually.” 

“Well, you guys are used to being pitied, right? Pretty sure it comes with the position.”

“Xion!”

They both laugh, wheezing between the two of them. 

“You know, I’m kind of curious, now that I think about it,” Kairi says once they’ve both recovered from their fit of laughter. Xion crosses her arms behind her head, grinning. “What was it like, the Organization?”

“Kind of a long story.” Xion rubs the tip of her nose. Kairi notes the fond, faraway look on her face. “I mean, the first time around, it was sort of funny. Like in hindsight. I was only around towards the end of it but it felt like everyone was just working from the same office, but also we were roommates. I remember Roxas complaining all the time about how Xemnas’ whole thing about making Kingdom Hearts was stupid, and I’d sit there thinking, he’s literally sleeping a floor above us. Kind of weird, you know?

“The second time around, it was a lot more serious. Everyone was tense all the time, some of us who’d been brought back from essentially being dead had to deal with that on top of Xehanort’s constant watching. Most of what I remember is just Xehanort, Xemnas, Saix, and, well. Vanitas.” Xion bites her lip, thinking. “Wasn’t really the best place to be. Why do you ask?”

“You mentioned the Organization before, is all. I was just curious about something.” Kairi shrugs. Xion continues looking at her, patient. “Why doesn’t it bother you to talk about it?”

“I don’t know. Past is the past, things come and go, and I can only move forward. I’m not saying what happened to me while I was a part of it was okay - I’m just saying I’ve already spent so much of myself worrying about it when I should be worry about myself. The person I am today, the person I am tomorrow.” 

They stop by a sitting area where the castle can be seen just behind a few stray mountain tops. Both of them take a seat, stretching their legs out to relax from the trek. 

“Did you know,” Xion says, her voice just a touch somber. “There’s supposed to be five of us siblings?” 

Kairi knits her brows together. Her eyes widen after a second of thought. She remembers.

“His name was Vanitas. About as tall as Ventus is, but looked exactly like Sora. But that meant he and I looked nearly identical to each other, too.” She sighs, and Kairi notes the lack of heavy sadness. “It was such a shock, the first time we met. We were at each other’s throats constantly. I never wanted to get rid of him but, Heart above, there were times when I just wanted to drive him into the ground.

“I felt bad for him, mostly. I think everyone knew there wasn’t a way for him to live on, not like the rest of us. The Nobodies, they could be recompleted. I already had my heart. Vanitas, he,” Xion pauses. “It hurt him to exist. And I think that makes his passing worse. Because there are times when I’d be with Ventus and Roxas and I’d think, I wish Vanitas and Sora were here, too.” 

Kairi lowers her eyes. 

“Ventus doesn’t talk about him. It’s complicated on his end. But I think he wishes the same, that Vanitas got a chance to a normal life.” 

Kairi looks away, pensive. “Why are you telling me this?”

Xion shrugs. “I don’t know. I guess I just wanted to get it off my chest. That’s what you’re supposed to do, right? When something kind of bothers you and you need to talk about it?” 

Kairi blinks at her. “I…” 

Xion looks at her gently. “There’s something bothering you, right? That’s the real reason you asked about the Organization. You’re smart, Kairi, but you wear your heart on your sleeve.” She tilts her head and frowns, worrying. “Is it about what happened between you and Riku last year?” 

Not for the first time, Kairi wonders if she really is that transparent. She manages a sheepish smile, shrugging. 

“Not really. Maybe? Namine isn’t too different from me, y’know. Jokes aside and everything.” Kairi’s laughter is weak. “She walked through my memories a few days before you took me to the Graveyard, and I think ever since she’s been… I don’t know. Worried about me. She knows I don’t want to know why I’m missing memories, but I guess that’s not stopping her from finding out herself. I asked you about the Organization because I thought maybe I’d somehow remember a little bit about whatever happened to me.” 

Xion frowns, somewhat. “What does that have to do with Riku?” 

“It’s stupid, but.” Kairi crosses her arms, looks towards the castle. She thinks of Riku. “But sometimes I can’t help but feel like remembering what happened to me might help Riku… move on.” 

Xion shifts awkwardly. “You can’t make him move on, Kairi. You know that.” 

Kairi falters. Her sigh is heavy. “I know. Maybe I’m just using him as an excuse.” She looks away from the castle, pointedly staring at the ground. “He asked me earlier today if it’s wrong to think of the future. Is it selfish of me to want him to move past Sora? Is it wrong of me to ask him to stop mourning?” 

Kairi tries to even her breathing. She feels Xion’s warm hand on her shoulder. She doesn’t say anything. Maybe she doesn’t know what to say. Kairi certainly wouldn’t know, were she in Xion’s place. 

“He’s so tired.” Her voice is a quiet tremble. “We both are. I think he’s doing better but, I don’t know.” 

Xion squeezes her shoulder. “He’ll figure it out,” she tells Kairi. “You shouldn’t try to figure it out for him.”

They stay a few moments longer, the soft whistling wind around the floating cliffs filling the silence between them. Eventually they both get up to begin the walk back to the castle. Xion stops Kairi, her hand meeting Kairi’s wrist. 

“Hey,” she says, gentle. “About the memories you lost. You’re allowed to find out. But don’t do it for the sake of helping Riku move on. Do it for you.” 

Kairi stares at her. She breathes deeply. 

“Yeah.”

—

Kairi tries to forget about her incomplete heart. She tries to not worry over Riku. The plush blankets of her bed in the guest quarters help a lot. For a moment she forgets all of her troubles, lost in fluffed pillows and soft linen; faint chirping of birds just outside her window. 

Kairi could fall asleep, here, without worry or concern for anything. She reminds herself that she shouldn’t have either, anyway - It’s spring break. She needs a break from classes, so here she is, on a beautiful world rich with unique landscape and magic. 

Her phone buzzes and it only takes her a second to find it amongst the plush bedding. She holds the screen to her face and smiles - 

_ Really missing out on paopu shakes with me _ , the message says. Another buzz later and there’s an image of Nagisa holding up a paopu shake to her lips. 

_ There will be other paopu shakes,  _ Kairi replies, tapping quietly against the screen.  _ Besides, I’m busy napping.  _

She looks at the door behind her, squinting at it, before raising her phone to snap a selfie of her surrounded by soft blankets and softer pillows. Once done, she holds the image close to her face, making sure she doesn’t look too ridiculous. 

_ Killer hotel bed, Kairi, geez _

Kairi snorts, trying to equate the guest quarters of Departure’s Forecourt to a hotel.  _ Don’t you know? I live in luxury. _

_ Forgot you were a princess. _

Kairi freezes a moment, staring at the text. 

_ Mayor’s daughter and all that. _

She blinks. Then she sighs, laughing - Nagisa wouldn’t know about all of this, about her being so-called Princess of Heart. How could she? She’s just a normal person. Unlike her, unlike her sister, Xion, and just about everyone else deeply involved in Kingdom Hearts. 

Oh, huh.  _ Something like that,  _ she replies. Kairi’s never considered what it might be like to want to tell someone about all of this. Could she, even? 

_ Don’t tell me you’re actually a princess from some far off world.  _ Kairi can imagine the lopsided smile, the sheepish look as a blush creeps across Nagisa’s face.  _ You’d be way more out of my league than I’m prepared for.  _

Kairi disregards her thoughts, enjoying this moment.  _ I thought you’d be up for a challenge. _

_ For you?  _ Nagisa tells her.  _ Anything. _

A knock on the door; Kairi looks up when Riku pokes his head in, brow raised. 

“Dinner soon.” 

Kairi turns to her phone. She types quickly. 

“Hey Riku?” She says, not looking up. Riku hums in reply. “Visit me in Destiny Islands soon, okay?”

“Sure. Special occasion?” 

“There’s someone I’d like you to meet.” 


	5. v.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Been a few months since the last update - So sorry about that! I've been really busy with college and work, and I needed a break from this fic while I worked some things out. It's going to be a lot longer than I had originally planned, probably much closer in length to the soriku fic if not a little longer.
> 
> Thanks so much to everyone who's been so patient and still so curious about this story! Your kind words and this story mean a lot to me, so I hope you all enjoy what I have planned for Kairi. :")

Kairi cannot decide how she feels to be dressed in a tailored dress, her hair styled high and tight, bright borrowed gems dangling from her ear. She, at least, had argued enough to be left wearing her old, worn boots underneath all the frills and silk and lace. Daisy had generously commissioned the dress for her, though, for Riku’s knighting ceremony, so she really doesn’t want to complain too much about the whole ordeal. 

Naminé, though - She loves the very act of dressing up. The drop shoulders and the pale blue fabric draping from her waist makes Kairi think that of the two of them, Naminé’s far more suited to the role of royalty. Kairi smiles, fond, watching her sister twirl on her foot, the tulle moving about her like soft waves. 

“Having fun?” Kairi grins, and is only met with Naminé sticking her tongue out. 

The courtyard at Mickey’s castle is decorated for the occasion - That being the knighting ceremony. Riku’s to be knighted, formally inducted into the ranks of the kingdom’s royal guard. Also being knighted with him is Goofy’s own son, Max, who stands near his father as the latter beams with genuine pride and joy. 

Riku isn’t anywhere to be found, yet, Kairi realizes. She turns her gaze one way then another, searching, but there’s no distinctive head of silver hair besides Riku’s father’s mingling in the crowd. Riku’s mother is here, too, somewhere. Kairi’s glad they’re both here for him. 

“I’m sure he’s just hiding somewhere,” Naminé says beside her. She links her arms with Kairi’s and rests her head on her shoulder. “It’s a pretty big crowd.”

And it is - It’s still small enough that the ceremony remains intimate, but there’s enough people to make wading through the courtyard a bit of a hassle. On top of that, Kairi can only imagine Riku’s discomfort walking around while everyone tries to stop him to congratulate him. He’s always been the kind of person who enjoyed smaller, more intimate settings - Kairi can recall numerous birthdays where it was just her, Sora, and Riku spending afternoons together covering their faces with birthday cake.

Kairi sighs, concerned. “You’re probably right.” Then, a smile. “He’s never really been one for his own big days, I guess.” 

Naminé squeezes her sister’s arm reassuringly and walks off, no doubt meaning to mingle with the others and take some of the food laid out before the ceremony starts. Kairi crosses her arms and shifts her weight from one foot to the next. 

This is one of those traits Kairi and Riku share between them. Kairi doesn’t mind big crowds and big celebrations, but there is a side effect to feeling left out so often, and that is feeling uncomfortable staying in large crowds. There comes a point where Kairi listens to too many conversations she’s not in. 

She takes a deep breath and stops herself from pulling out the hems of her tiered skirt. Normally she’d count to ten, but she’s fine right now. No numbers are counted, and Kairi shakes off her unease and turns around to exit the courtyard. 

There’s a hallway that leads into the courtyard, a wide space that’s more like a balcony that offers a gorgeous view of the garden it overlooks. Kairi isn’t surprised at all to find Riku standing in it, hiding just out of view of the large, ornate windows that make him look small. He looks up and towards her as she approaches him, her boots thumping on the marble floor and announcing her. He smiles sheepishly, nodding at her in greeting. 

She presses a hand to his arm. He offers it. They link.

“Hi, you.” She says, leaning her weight on him. Riku holds, steady; Comforted, also, by her familiar presence on him. 

“Hey.” 

“Big day.” 

“Yeah.”

“Excited?” 

Riku purses his lips and looks out, watching the party. He smiles, and Kairi can’t help but smile at it, too. “Yeah. A little bit.”

“Just a little bit?” Kairi teases, soft. “You’ve come so far. You should be really proud.”

Riku tucks his hair behind his ear, thinking. Kairi wonders what, but she says nothing and only offers her smile. From the soft scoff that leaves Riku’s lips, she knows it’s appreciated all the same. 

“You really think so?” 

The look she gives him makes him visibly falter. His hand finds its way to the back of his neck, scratching is absentmindedly. “You don’t need me to tell you that. You’re doing great, Riku. I’m so excited for you. Everyone is.” 

They’re quiet again for a moment. Music begins to play from the courtyard, but it’s still a while before Riku’s needed at center stage. 

“You’ve been really patient with me these past few years.” 

“Well,” Kairi scoffs. She holds Riku closer. “Patient is certainly one way to put it.” 

“I’m trying to say thank you, Kairi.” 

Kairi looks at him. He looks at her, but there’s a weakness to his gaze. He turns away, staring out at the garden. She knows, without him having to say it, that the weight of what he means cannot effectively be carried through such simple words. 

“I know,” she tells him. “It’s fine, Riku. I get it.” 

And honestly, she’s kind of tired of it, too. Maybe it’s just that she’s actively dealt with it the past few years while Riku’s only beginning to. Perhaps she can only forgive Riku for being so late; Better late than never, after all.

“Come on. We’re adults. I’m twenty-one. You’re twenty-two. And we have - So much more to do, still. We should be over this by now.” 

Riku scoffs, but he doesn’t argue. From the look he gives her, she knows Riku feels similarly.

“I appreciate you, is what I’m trying to say, is all.” 

There’s something more that needs to be said, she thinks. A conversation they both want to have but aren’t yet ready for. Riku looks at her and meets her eyes again. Maybe it’s just her being so-called monarch of Kingdom Hearts, but she thinks this close she can feel the thrums of Riku’s regrets against hers and hers against his. They’re not so different - Riku and Kairi. 

There is fanfare from the courtyard. Riku raps the marble with the back of his hand, then pushes himself up. 

“Well. There’s my cue.” 

More fanfare, then music.

“Theme park later?”

“Of course. I’ve got the tickets in my pocket.” 

Riku grins. Kairi laughs. They offer each other exaggerated bows. Riku offers his arm and Kairi takes it. She leads him to the courtyard, her head resting on his shoulder. Somehow, she can feel how nervous he is. 

Well. It is a pretty big thing. It goes quicker than Kairi expects. 

Max is first, kneeling down as Mickey places the ceremonial sword on both his shoulders. Goofy stands further behind him, hands clasped together and a silly, affectionate expression written across his face. There is a polite cheer, an enthusiastic clap of hands, and Max rises; a knight. 

Riku stands near the side of the stage, his hands tightly clasped together. He glances around, meets Kairi’s eyes, and he relaxes visibly; smiling. His eyes wander again, Kairi following, and he meets the eyes of his own parents and grows sheepish. They must be proud of him, too - Unconventional as this is, Kairi cannot quite imagine how relieved they may feel seeing Riku do so much for his own life. 

Max walks past him, offering a congratulatory pat on the back. Riku scoffs and walks up for his turn. He kneels. Mickey watches him, full of pride, too. There’s a beat of silence as both stare at each other. There’s a conversation, here, but Kairi as well as everyone else will not know a single detail about it. 

The moment passes. Mickey begins to speak, offering Riku the same formal congratulations he had given Max. But the softness and the almost fatherly pride is palpable. 

The ceremonial sword touches Riku’s shoulders. Mickey steps back, gestures. Riku stands tall. Again, the polite clapping from the audience. But propriety be damned - Kairi stands with a cheer for her best friend, and Riku is taken back, laughing like he’s fifteen again.

They don’t bother changing out of their clothes for when they go to Disney Town. The dress has grown on Kairi; Its skirt isn’t as big as Naminé’s dress, and its length doesn’t get snagged in any of the rides she and Riku run off to. Riku stays in his tailored suit, only letting the top button of his collar free to let him breathe more easily. He’s laughing so freely, looking so relieved and so much happier. Kairi finds she cannot take her eyes off him. It’s been a minute, seeing him like this. She’s only realizing this now. 

They’re on a carousel. Kairi’s sitting on a bench close to the center, Riku resting on the back of an ornate horse in front of her. He’s leaning on the pole, his forehead pressed against the gilded gold surface of it, his face red and in between fits of laughter. Kairi pulls her feet close to her, the heels of her boots hooked on the edge of the bench. 

They don’t say anything for a while, tired from running from one ride to the next underneath the sun. They’d ditched the party as soon as they could, leaving everyone to celebrate at the reception. Riku summoned his glider, speeding away as soon as Kairi had hopped on. 

“Who did you want me to meet, again?” Riku says, finally catching his breath. Forehead still pressed against the gold, he turns slightly to look at Kairi. A few children run past them to their chosen steeds, their older siblings following. 

Kairi gestures, sheepish. “Nagisa. We’ve sort of been seeing each other for a while now.” 

Riku smirks. “What, do you like her or something?” 

“Enough to introduce her to you, yeah. You should be honored.” 

He gives her a thoughtful hum. “Sounds more like she’s the one who should feel honored.” 

A snort. “Your ego, Riku.” 

They’re quiet for a little bit. Then, Riku: “What’s she like?” 

Kairi leans her head one way, smiling as she thinks. Riku watches her fondly. “Cool, I guess. She’s doing environmental studies. Plays soccer for the school.” 

“How’d you meet?”

“Well,” Kairi laughs, shaking her head. “She can’t aim for shit. Hit the back of my head.” 

Riku stares at her. She looks at him, sheepish. 

He chuckles and shakes his head, more amused than anything. He supposes that will be a story for another day. Kairi stretches her leg out and kicks him lightly. 

“Seriously, though. We’ll make it a coffee date. That cozy cafe near the highschool updated their menu so now they have little cakes to snack on.” 

“Huh.” He leans back, hooking his feet on the carousel horse. “I’ll make it my treat for you guys. Like a celebratory strawberry tart because I’m finally meeting your girlfriend.” 

“You get a killer salary and now you’re going to pay for all of my food? Riku,” Kairi presses the back of her hand to her forehead, grinning, “You spoil me.” 

“Honestly I’m mostly just not sure what to do with the money I’ll be getting now that this is like, a thing.” He swings forward, resting his head on the carousel horse. The music swells and so do the lights. Some of the animatronic horses move up and down, delighting much of the younger guests. “I think I have enough to buy a house, now?” 

“That’s kind of weird.” Kairi frowns. “Do you even want a house?”

Riku hums, shrugging. “I don’t know. Maybe one day. It’s not a bad idea. Down the line, anyway.” 

“Where?” 

“Where…?” 

“If you were going to get a house, where would you get it?” 

Riku keeps his eyes pointed away. His fingers tap on the twisted pole. “Home.”

“Home?”

“Destiny Islands,” he clarifies. Kairi smiles. “Home. I can’t imagine getting a house anywhere else. I’d probably travel a lot before I settle down, though. Not in a rush to have my own place yet. You?” 

They both hum, leaning into the carousel as it sways them in its turns. “Like that’s a question. I want to stay in Destiny for the rest of my life. A house near the beach, enough space in the backyard for a garden, maybe.” 

Kairi looks at Riku. He’s studying her - thoughtfully, she thinks. “How serious are you and Nagisa?” 

Kairi looks away, thinking. “Serious,” she says, decisively and confidently. A fond smile on her face, and on Riku’s too, but this she doesn’t know. “I think I love her.” 

He nods to that, then resumes his thinking. Kairi tilts her head. 

“Why?” 

“I was just thinking, one day she’ll have to know about Kingdom Hearts.” 

The ride slows; The music changes, too, and the lights start pulsing slowly in gradients of warm pinks and yellows and blues. Kairi purses her lips. She’s thought about this before; The possibility is not totally lost on her. 

“I’ll…” Kairi says, slow. “Cross that bridge when I get there, I think. It’s not like I know if she wants to be serious, anyway.” 

Riku shrugs, nodding. “I mean, I was just thinking, is all.” He clears his throat. “I can’t wait to meet her. How intimidating can I be?”

“Riku.” 

“Should I wear the Organization 13 coat? Or the double zipper vest outfit?” 

“ _ Riku. _ ” 

He grins widely at her, shrugging away her deadpan stare with a deep chuckle. Kairi rolls her eyes and stands up from her seat, gathering the fabric of her skirt before moving to stand beside Riku’s carousel horse. She leans on him. He leans on her. 

“Let’s go on a rollercoaster.” 

“Oh,  _ hell _ yes.” 

* * *

A few weeks later, Kairi waits in a cafe, her fingers tapping the top of a go-to cup of mocha. Riku’s waiting with her but he’s at the counter right now, ordering up a cup of coffee for himself. Kairi looks at him briefly, watching him, then turns her attention to the door. 

They’re both early by a little bit; Riku had spent the evening on Kairi and Naminé’s couch, then spent the morning bickering with the two of them over what he should wear. He’d brought the double zipper vest (because he did - why wouldn’t he? It’s a perfectly fine vest!), but Kairi and Naminé both were insisting he wear something a little more appropriate for meeting someone for the first time. 

Nagisa probably wouldn’t have cared or noticed either way, but it’s the thought that counts. It’s formality. So Riku relents, settling for one of his many, many thrifted collared shirts to appease the two destiny-chosen princesses in his life.

“You think she’s getting cold feet?” Riku asks, strolling up to their table. Kairi deadpans at him, and he snickers. 

“ _ You’re _ going to get cold feet,” she says. Riku gives her a laugh for that one, then sets down two plates of fruit tart slices. “I’ll get her something when she comes in, too. What do you think she’d like?”

“Raspberry pie.” Kairi rests her chin on her hand. “Maybe a bagel, actually. Sesame, toasted, cream cheese.” 

“A woman of taste.”

“I wouldn’t settle for less.” 

Riku snorts as he sits down. Kairi leans back, opening her phone and scrolling through Kingstagram to kill time. She reaches for her cup, and she pauses, feeling a slight wobble in the table between her and Riku. When she looks up, she sees his leg bouncing ever so slightly, but enough to be a tell. 

He takes a sip from his drink, a bite from his pastry. His eyes dart to the door, and when he does not find Nagisa he looks to Kairi, and goes sheepish. Kairi offers a comforting and amused look. 

“You’ll like her,” she says, setting her phone down. It buzzes for a text message; She figures that’s Nagisa saying she’s not far off. “She’ll like you, too. It’ll be fine.”

“How are you not more worried about this?” 

“Because you’re both important to me. Because I’m confident in the people I share my life with.” She shrugs, bringing her mocha to her lips again. “I don’t know what to tell you, Riku. It’s really not that deep.” 

He kicks her lightly under the table, pouting a little bit as he resumes his morning snack. Kairi kicks him back, if only to get his attention and stick her tongue at him. He scoffs, smiling. 

The chime above the door rings and its effect on Riku is instantaneous; With a quick ring of the chime above the entrance Riku’s posture changes and again there is that tangible nervousness and earnestness that Kairi thinks she hasn’t seen in some time. He swallows down a modest forkful of his cake, straightens himself, and tries to look casual when he looks over his shoulder. Kairi leans her elbows on the table, grinning past his shoulder at Nagisa -

\-- Who is, herself, visibly nervous. Kairi could laugh, recognizing the crispest shirt she’s ever seen on Nagisa, dressed down with the comfortable and worn sports jacket she’s known to wear. The joggers, Kairi thinks, are new, but there’s no helping the trainers she has on. All the ones Nagisa owns are worn, but Nagisa tends to argue that the worn look gives them all character. 

Kairi finishes the rest of her mocha and stands, pulling Nagisa into a tight hug when she approaches. It’s a bit of a shame she has to get on her toes a little to press a kiss to Nagisa’s cheek, but alas, she cannot help that her girlfriend towers over her so much. 

“You’ve got to stop getting to places before me,” Nagisa says, scratching behind her neck. “I hate making you wait.” 

Kairi waves her off and gestures to Riku, who stares blankly before reacting. He stands, just a touch abrupt, and seems somewhere between shaking Nagisa’s hand and bowing. Thankfully, he only reaches his hand out and smiles. 

“Riku,” He says by way of introducing himself. Nagisa takes his hand and shakes it firmly. “Kairi speaks highly of you.” 

“You too,” she says. “Nagisa. But you, ah, probably already knew that.” 

Kairi stamps down her simultaneous amusement and second-hand embarrassment. Nagisa seems to completely miss the drinks and pastries on the table, going straight to offering to buy them all something to drink and snack on. Riku waves the offer away and counters with his own. It goes back and forth for a bit, and Kairi lets them. She sits down. They’re both startled, pause, and sit down, too. 

It’s exactly as Kairi expected. Something warm in her chest; Full of love for new and old parts of her life. 

The three of them settle down. It’s quiet for a bit. Nagisa makes a few attempts at casual conversation. Riku, Heart bless him, says: 

“So… Do you fight?” 

Kairi doesn’t even bother trying to hold her laughter. 

* * *

Nagisa meets the rest of Kairi’s roster of important people in her life following the coffee shop with Riku. Naminé she already knows, but they see each other more now, sometimes passing by each other in the science buildings on campus and grabbing a snack or two together. There’s a weekend where Kairi brings Nagisa to Twilight Town, subjecting her to Axel’s genuine interrogation and eventual approval. Xion and Roxas bring her to the underground skate spot, and Nagisa pleasantly surprises them with a modest kickflip on Roxas’ old and worn skateboard. 

“You skate?” Roxas had said, genuinely excited. Nagisa had laughed and shrugged. 

“Used to, as a kid. It’s been a minute.” 

Kairi’s mothers adore Nagisa, too. There’s a family dinner held on a cozy Saturday evening - A rare evening when Naminé isn’t busy pulling all nighters in their university’s research lab or in Twilight Town hacking away at the forgotten laboratory underneath the abandoned mansion. Nagisa had brought brownies, sheepishly telling Kairi’s mothers that normally they’re much better and that it isn’t her best work. 

“You could, literally, just give us scraps and we’d still love you for it,” the mayor’s wife had said in the midst of piling pieces of brownies on her plate. She turns to her wife, reaching her plate to her. The mayor humors her and indulges herself.

By graduation, Nagisa and Kairi become so involved in each other’s lives that moving in together in their own apartment was only a matter of when.

It’s when they finally get their last moving box into the apartment that Kairi feels it hit. The box sits at her feet while Nagisa goes around with the boxcutter, opening and examining each one. Eventually she gets to the one by Kairi, opens it, and when she stands up to sheath the boxcutter and hide it in her pocket, Kairi gasps - Startled, perhaps, out of her reverie. 

“Oh,” she says. Nagisa raises a brow. “Wow. We’re really doing this.” 

Nagisa laughs. “You said the exact same thing when we signed the lease, you know.” 

“It’s just crazy, I think.” Kairi says. Nagisa kneels down, beginning to take out the items from the box at Kairi’s feet. Kairi follows. “Four years ago, I wouldn’t have guessed that my life would be like this now.” 

“Just don’t tell anyone that we only started dating because I hit you on the head with a soccer ball.” 

“My lips are sealed, trust me.” There’s a laugh between them. “I’m just realizing how much of my life I do want to share with you. That all of this is just…” 

She trails off, thinking. Nagisa watches her pick out a few picture frames from the box, one of them holding a photograph Naminé had taken of her and Riku. 

“It’s good. We’re good.” Her voice is soft, almost faraway. She looks up and meets Nagisa’s gaze. “We’re doing okay. You know?” 

“Okay is one way to put it. I think we’re doing great, personally.” Nagisa tilts her head. She reaches her hands out and places them over Kairi’s. “Come on. The place isn’t going to furnish itself, you know.” 

* * *

“You’re moving to Radiant Garden?” 

Naminé smiles sheepishly on Kairi’s phone screen. “Yeah. Surprising, right?”

Kairi scoffs, picking up her phone and settling it against a mason jar on her countertop. “Surprising is one way of putting it, I guess.” She turns away, opening one of the cupboards and fussing over the organization. Naminé’s busy on her end, too - Research or something. She doesn’t tell Kairi much about it. This is how their video calls normally go, nowadays. “What’s in Radiant Garden?” 

“Ienzo’s offering me total access to the research facilities, and I can’t really find it in myself to say no to that, considering I’ve been getting Xion and Roxas to help me break and enter into the mansion for the dismal lab there for months now.” 

Kairi pauses. She looks over her shoulder, raising a brow at the phone. “What about Ansem?”

“Retirement home, so I don’t have to see him.” 

“Oh.” Kairi hums thoughtfully, then returns to reorganizing her cupboard. “I don’t see why you should say no, then. Congratulations.”

Naminé doesn’t respond immediately. Kairi thinks she’s surprised, and when she turns around to look for herself, Naminé’s just staring dumbly into the camera. 

“What?”

“You’re not upset?” 

Kairi’s eyebrows knit together. She shakes her head, shrugging. “Of course not. I think it’s great, actually. Do you want me to help you move?” 

Naminé blinks. Then she grins, wide and full of relief. “Yeah. Yeah that’d be really great. Xion’s picking me up next week with the gummi ship. Axel’s coming along, too. Roxas, too. You should bring Nagisa! I’m sure she’d love to see Radiant Garden.” 

Kairi snorts. “We’re helping you move, Nams. Not going on a vacation.”

“Well, it’s not like I can show her inside the research lab.” 

“Why not?”

Naminé stares at her, raising a brow. “Our research involves Kingdom Hearts. Nagisa can’t know about it.” 

Kairi stops shuffling items around, her hands resting against the surface of the cupboard doors. “Oh. Right,” she says, shrugging. “I guess that is out of the question, then.” 

The subject changes right after, Naminé going on to ramble about Radiant Garden and her excitement over it - Kairi absentmindedly learns about Naminé’s apartments at the research castle, about how excited she is to be working closely with Ienzo and how relieved she is to be able to rifle through years upon years of existing research. Kairi’s happy for her; Naminé’s been rather obsessed with the nature of Hearts so this is, really, a good thing for her. Great, even. 

Still, Kairi’s got her thoughts mostly preoccupied with how she wants the cupboards organized. She’s thinking about the e-mails she needs to send out, about the grocery list she needs to build before Nagisa picks her up so they could go to the grocery together. 

She doesn’t think about Kingdom Hearts. She doesn’t want to.

“So, gummi ships are made from… gummi blocks?” Nagisa asks, a week later, leaning against one of the walls inside Axel’s gummi ship. Outside the window, stars and worlds and stray heartless flying past. A view of Departure approaches the ship. Naminé reaches for the window display controls. Xion knocks on the wall just behind Nagisa to get her attention. 

“Pretty much, yeah,” she says as Nagisa turns around to look at her. “Gummi blocks themselves, though, we’re not entirely sure-”

“Magic. It’s like, just straight up magic.” Roxas interjects. Nagisa nods. Departure blurs past as Axel makes a turn. 

“Magic that you can engineer, though, right?” She continues, tilting her head. Roxas and Xion share a look between them and shrug, unable to deny that much. “That’s some pretty special tech. Bet it’s from the same guys who’ve been working on the interworld transit system.” 

Axel barks a laugh from the driver’s seat, looking over his shoulder with a wide grin. “How are you this sharp and yet can’t aim for the goal for shit, dude?”

Naminé laughs, fiddling still with the window controls to filter what’s displayed. “Maybe Kairi was the goal this whole time.” 

Everyone in the cockpit begins to laugh; Axel pretends to sound strongly impressed, saying: “Ah. So she does have impeccable aim after all.” 

The door to the cockpit hisses open, then, Kairi shuffling in with a few bags of potato chips and some bottles of soda. She raises a brow at the laughter, frowning just a little bit until Nagisa smiles sheepishly at her and explains - 

“The can’t aim for shit story,” she says, and Kairi snorts. “Thought you said that was a secret?” 

“I made the promise. Can’t say the same for everyone else.” Another, shorter round of laughter. Kairi tosses one of the bags from Roxas while Xion reaches for one of the soft drinks from Kairi’s arms. “How much longer until we get to Radiant Garden?” 

“Not much longer.” Axel looks beside him, grinning at Naminé. “Ready to move in, Nams?” 

* * *

Ienzo’s sitting at the steps of the courtyard when the ship begins its steady descent in front of the castle. A hand keeps his hair in place, though the same can’t be said of some of the courtyard’s newest blooms. Petals fly about him. The large castle doors creak open, and there’s a laugh. 

“Sure you’re no prince?” says Demyx, standing beside Ienzo on the steps while the gummi ship’s cargo door opens. 

“Radiant Garden has no monarchy,” Ienzo replies. “And besides, I’d make a terrible prince.” 

Naminé bounces out of the ship, bounding over to Ienzo, who rises and reaches out his hand. She takes it in a firm shake, grinning. 

“A very warm welcome to you, Naminé. I’ve been eager to work with you for some time.” He gestures to Demyx. “And this is my friend, Demyx. I don’t think either of you had a chance to meet - ah. Before.” 

“No, I don’t think so. It’s good to meet you, Demyx -”

“Hah! Friend’s a pretty  _ friendly _ way of putting it,” Axel yells, Xion and Roxas snickering behind him as they carry off a few boxes from the cargo deck. “Call it official already. Everyone knows.” 

“Eat shit, Axel.” 

“Anything for you, Demy boy.” Axel smiles. “Hi Ienzo.”

Ienzo chuckles, waving. “Hi Axel. Demyx, if you would help them?” 

“Already on it.” 

“And he’s useful now! Ienzo, you are a man of miracles - “ 

Naminé laughs behind her hand. She looks at Ienzo, who smiles at her apologetically. “The jokes from Organization 13 never cease, unfortunately.” He looks behind her, watching Kairi and Nagisa exit the ship carrying boxes of their own. Kairi catches his eye and smiles in greeting. “I take it the tall one beside Kairi is Nagisa?” 

“The very one.” 

“Hm. The one we’re to be careful about when it comes to conversations regarding the events of the years prior.” 

Naminé sighs, nodding. “Yeah. Kairi hasn’t thought much about telling her anything. Isn’t even interested in the slightest.” 

Ienzo chuckles as Kairi and Nagisa drop the boxes off outside the ship, returning inside to help carry more. “Well, it’s good to know that it doesn’t weigh on her mind as much as before. Still, in that case, I’ll refrain from speaking about your project with you until she’s gone back home.” 

Naminé clasps her hands together. “Yes. Thank you. Again, about all of that. I don’t want her to know yet.” 

Ienzo regards her curiously. “I wouldn’t keep it a secret for much longer, given Kairi’s history with not knowing things.” When Naminé visibly falters, Ienzo sighs, nodding. “It is not my place to judge.” He says, finally, though Naminé does not miss the last imploring look he gives her. 

A tap on Naminé’s shoulder and she turns, finding Kairi behind her with a bright grin; Devoid of any curiosity or need to know what exchange had just occurred between Naminé and Ienzo. 

“Hi Ienzo,” Kairi says, leaning her chin on Naminé’s shoulder. “Where’s Naminé’s room?” 

“Less a room,” Ienzo chuckles. “More an apartment. She’ll be taking the east wing tower. Ample space, plenty of sunlight, and a balcony with an impressive view of Radiant Garden.”

“Still won’t beat a view of Destiny Islands, though,” Naminé says, nudging Kairi’s side with her elbow. Kairi laughs. 

Naminé has a lot of things to move, but there’s more than enough people to help out with moving her in - Dilan and Aeleus pick up most of the work, and there’s something about a recompleted Demyx with a renewed sense of competitiveness that pushes Axel into making the box carrying into a kind of competition. Roxas and Xion help more with rearranging the room under Naminé’s direction. Kairi would help, too, and so would Nagisa, but Naminé keeps insisting they take the time to walk around Radiant Garden. 

“Well,” Nagisa says, hurrying down the last few steps of the tower’s winding staircase. She turns around, reaches her hand out, grinning when Kairi humors her and takes it so she could be led down. “It is my first time here, anyway.” 

“And you’re stuck with the worst possible tour guide. I don’t remember much from when I was still here.” 

Nagisa pulls Kairi into a twirl, holding her close. “First, you have got to stop being mean to yourself. Second, you’re not my tour guide, you’re my girlfriend. Let’s just, like, get lost. I’m cool with just walking around.” 

Kairi could melt into Nagisa’s embrace; She does, just a little bit. There’s a kind of warmth she gives off and offers to her freely; a calm kind of happiness that Kairi can’t get enough of. 

“Alright,” Kairi snorts, nuzzling her cheek against Nagisa’s shoulder. A breath later, she pulls away, hands pressed against Nagisa and her eyes looking up to meet hers. “Let’s go get lost.” 

* * *

Radiant Garden has a strange charm; Its age can be seen in its cobblestone paths, its dated stone walls that span along the sides of certain pathways. Walking around the old city rose vines climb along walls and tell quiet stories of hundreds of seasons of past springtime blooms, and the future ones too. Radiant Garden is blessed enough to have a near-eternal spring, just as Twilight Town is perpetually in a state of sunset. 

Nagisa’s curiosity of Radiant Garden isn’t all too different from Kairi’s - She wants to know the place Kairi is from. Wants to know what of Kairi she can and cannot find in this new world’s lands. Kairi’s the same - But maybe there’s a bit of mourning in the way she looks around. Like she’s mourning the memories she should have but doesn’t. 

It’s not all sad, though. Not really. Nagisa steals a kiss whenever she can. It’s cute. 

“Nothing about this place feels familiar,” Kairi confesses to her. “I know I had a grandmother, here. That’s mostly it.” 

Nagisa takes a look around, then looks down at Kairi. Something decisive behind her eyes. She says: “Maybe Destiny Islands was meant for you, after all.”

It gets a snort out of Kairi. She nudges Nagisa’s arm playfully, laughing. Nagisa kisses her, and Kairi stops caring about trying to find herself in a world she doesn’t understand. 

They eventually stumble into a part of downtown Radiant Garden and there’s the other part of the world’s strange charm - It’s more modern, this part of the city. The nightlife is a buzzing scene illuminated by artsy neon lights on sleek-looking buildings and bouncing off of the heads of the young crowd that runs around. There are street food carts for a whole range of food - Mostly sweet things, Kairi notes. The street food back home in Destiny Islands lean towards saltier things - Fish balls on skewers or barbecued fruits. 

Kairi watches Nagisa flit from one cart to the next, collecting skewers of sweet things, powdered sugar on fried dough and other such confections. Kairi thinks of Naminé. She frowns.

“You’re not enjoying this,” Nagisa says, suddenly. She tilts her head and tries to catch Kairi’s eyes. “What’s wrong? What can I do?” 

Kairi sighs, smiling at Nagisa’s earnestness. She shakes her head. “I am enjoying this. I’m just… Thinking.” 

“About?”

Kairi doesn’t reply immediately. She takes a bite out of one of her sweets. Nagisa leads her to a bench. They squeeze together into the remaining space. 

“Kairi?” Nagisa asks again, gentler this time around. 

“I don’t know how to explain it,” she admits. “Naminé’s moving here. I told her I was happy for her, and I am, but it just occurred to me that I think I’m sad about it.” She furrows her brows, more, knitting them together. 

“But that’s not it?” Nagisa supplies.

“It’s not,” Kairi says. “I think she’s keeping something from me. She doesn’t tell me what exactly her research is about.” 

Nagisa leans back into the bench, and Kairi leans into her. “Maybe she has her reasons.”

“Maybe.”

“It just… sucks. I feel like when we leave Radiant Garden tomorrow I’ll leave behind more secrets.” 

Nagisa holds her closer. “It does suck. But secrets aren’t always bad. Sometimes they’re just secrets.” Her hand finds its way into Kairi’s hair, stroking the burgundy strands carefully; reassuringly. “She’ll tell you when she does. It’s like, I didn’t tell you about my ex-girlfriends until I did.” 

“Babe, your ex-girlfriends aren’t secrets.” 

“You don’t know that. It’s a secret.” Nagisa laughs, loud and boisterous, when Kairi nudges her side roughly. “You have secrets, too. I bet you don’t tell me everything.”

Kairi looks at her, thinking. 

No. No, she does not.

* * *

They’re not leaving until evening, and Nagisa’s been stolen away by Roxas and Xion both. Axel is out hanging out with Demyx. Naminé and Kairi spend breakfast together, but Kairi finds herself unable to bring up the secrets that’s formed between them. She asks, instead, about Naminé being sure about her living in Radiant Garden. Will you be alright? She asks her. I’ll be great. She replies. They make promises. 

Kairi does say, before she leaves the castle: “You can tell me anything, you know that, right?” 

And Naminé smiles, tired and relieved, and Kairi gets the sense that whatever secret she’s holding in her chest is hurting her. “Love you, sis.” 

“I know,” Kairi snorts. “You’d be nobody without me.” 

Naminé laughs, holding Kairi’s hands tightly. They know about the secret, but still it does not reveal itself between them. This close, Kairi hopes Naminé knows she does not blame her, not really. This close, Naminé hopes Kairi knows how badly she wants her to know.

And then she goes out, ventures into Radiant Garden. It’s different in the daytime; Bright and sunny and petals flying in the air to make way for the next bloom in just a few weeks. Kairi trusts her feet to lead her wherever, and in a few moments she’s at a courtyard that feels familiar. The closest time she’s felt Radiant Garden to be familiar. 

It’s a large courtyard, one of the public gardens that decorate and beautify Radiant Garden. Cobblestone paths that Kairi follows into a large square. Children giggling holding plucked bouquets in their arms while tired guards watch them and do not pursue; amused, happy. Couples arm in arm; Their faces close as they share stories between them. Other people like her, enjoying the solitude, watching others as she watches them. Some birds. Some cats. Dogs on and off leashes, barking happily. 

Kairi walks slowly. She looks around. Her eye catches on a head of blue hair, a woman dressed in fine robes. Out of place but not out of sorts. Kairi thinks she looks lost in thought. More than that - Conflicted. 

The woman turns, and of course it’s who Kairi knows her to be. Their eyes meet and Kairi remembers now why this courtyard seems so familiar. 

When Aqua approaches her, Kairi says: “You’re a long way from Departure.” 

“And you are a long way from Destiny Islands.” Aqua says. Her Mark of Mastery gleams from her chest, the twisted leather from which it hangs keeping it close. “I hear Naminé is moving here.” 

“Just settled in. I’m going home tonight.” Kairi is still staring. She wants to ask - “Why are you here?” 

Something of conflict flashing behind Aqua’s dark blue eyes. A purse of her lips. A serene smile, but something of it is forced. “A secret of mine. Forgive me.” 

There’s something all to formal and too respectful in the modest bow Aqua offers Kairi. It surprises her, confuses her a moment and makes her feel like she’s nobility. Kairi awkwardly dismisses it with a wave of her hand. Aqua rises, clearing her throat. 

“You’re allowed your secrets, Master Aqua,” Kairi says sheepishly. “Especially from me. I’m just me.” 

Aqua looks like she wants to disagree. She keeps her lips shut, shakes her head, and gestures around them. “Do you know where we are?” She asks, instead. 

“I met you here, didn’t I?” 

Aqua grins. She nods. “You did. Yes. You were so young. You were with your grandmother.” She goes quiet; thoughtful. “She was a wonderful woman. She would have been proud of the woman you are today.” 

Kairi smiles. The two of them are quiet. 

“Is your partner here as well?” Aqua asks. Something careful, cautious in how she asks the question. 

“She is. She’s with Xion and Roxas.” Kairi purses her lips. “Lots of secrets lately.” 

“Is she not telling you something?”

“No, no. Not like that.” Kairi sighs. 

Aqua understands. She nods, sagely. Wise, solemn. “Kingdom Hearts.” 

“I can’t tell if she should know. People keep asking when I will tell her.” Kairi shakes her head. “Sorry, I know that came out of nowhere. You don’t need to humor me about it.” 

“Ask me to, anyway,” Aqua says quickly; Like there’s something to grasp in this moment. A desperation for something like a purpose, a duty. Kairi is taken aback by the hurriedness but does not understand why. “You can - You can rely on me. I insist.” 

Kairi smiles. “You should come visit me in Destiny Islands.” 

Aqua stares at her. 

Kairi, for some bizarre reason, feels in her chest that Aqua feels herself to be near forgiven. 

Aqua bids her goodbye, making another promise that Kairi will later add to her repertoire of promises. 

* * *

Sunset at the beach on Destiny Islands. Kairi curling her toes in the sunkissed sand. Nagisa further ahead ankle-deep in the water, looking back over her shoulder while wind messes with her terribly dyed pink hair. A whole paopu fruit in Kairi’s hands. 

She walks into the water, walks against the sea pushing at her ankles until she is beside Nagisa. Nagisa regards her, curious. 

“That’s a pretty big commitment, there.” She says, humored. 

“It’s romantic, let me have this,” Kairi frowns. She breaks the fruit and passes it to Nagisa. The water continues to lap at their feet. In the distance, the calls of gulls. “It’s poetic,” she adds, softer.

“The never-ending allure of things we think are magic,” Nagisa says, her voice mocking a teacher they once shared. Kairi giggles and nudges her, rolling her eyes. A pause. Kairi thinks Nagisa feels nervous. “We may as well get married, you know, if you’re bringing out the paopu.” 

Kairi laughs again, but Nagisa looks sheepish. “No, no we’re nowhere near ready for getting married.”

Nagisa shrugs, looking away; Something goofy in the way she smiles at the sunset. “No, yeah, no. Totally crazy.” 

But Kairi is thinking about secrets. A secret of the sky shaped like a heart. She keeps her eyes on Nagisa, sighing. “I wouldn’t object,” she says, and a change in Nagisa’s posture. “It’s just. Not yet. I think. Nowhere near ready.” 

“No, no I- I agree. I wasn’t going to ask like this.” Nagisa laughs; nervous, nervous, nervous. “I wouldn’t, I mean. I just - I was curious if it was something you would think about. Just, you know. I love you.” 

At that, Nagisa looks at Kairi again, and Kairi beams at her - full of love and adoration and light. “I love you, too.” 

They share a fruit between them. 

It’s later that night, in the dim light of their bedroom, the stars outside twinkling quietly. Kairi on her side, eyes staring at a slumbering Nagisa, peaceful and quiet and breathing evenly, so lost in a dream Kairi can see her eyes move. 

She wants this. Wants this life. But she realizes, as the stars begin to fall behind her, lives cannot be kept separate. 


End file.
